Bowel cancer CARERS, FAMILY & FRIENDS chat

Bless you strange when I was in the thick of it hospital operations chemo scans you are in a daze but you get on looking back morning tea 5am not eating properly maybe I didn't cope. I and everyone on here understands the world you are in think people try to say the right words but have no idea what to say if one more person says thinks positive i will scream lost it last night at my sister and said their is nothing positive about Cancer and I don't want to know about Tom Dick or Harry's Cancer praying for good result's xx

Absolutely. I know people mean well but the last thing you need is people talking about themselves or others, your journey is unique. I hate the talk about fighting/being a warrior as well as it kind of implies those who pass away didn’t fight hard enough. 

I get it’s well meaning but not what you need right now x

To feel drained sick tired anger upset scared all feels so like is this really happening to us not sure if anyone feels my way but I feel like I'm being punished for the good life I had compared to others now we have lost everything husband is self employed no job no wages people don't realised it is not just the Cancer it's everything that's been taken away moan over sun is shining at last cup of tea in the quiet outside hugs to you all xx

Cancer doesn’t discriminate, you have done absolutely nothing to deserve this and neither has your husband. Your feelings are valid and unfortunately I have felt them all. My heart breaks for you and anyone else going through this xx

So sorry to hear your news, you muse be devastated - life is so unfair. How they can’t find a cure is beyond me when all you see on tv is cancer cancer cancer!! I have stopped watching most tv now it’s so depressing.

Sally back from her trip and took charge of me phoning doctors and now have a prescription for antidepressants - I can’t even speak to anyone now without crying and couldn’t even face taking car to car wash in case I had to speak to someone. It will be a year next week since Kevin passed away and still can’t believe it. Paul is being assessed for hospice as I can’t cope anymore. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve all this but hopefully will get through this terrible time. Rant over for now.

Take care ladies

Helen x

Oh Helen my heart hurts for you I feel the same why us Simon tells me not to think that but how many times do we need to get knocked down a year ago I kept on getting up but this time I just don't want to . You will hopefully feel better after a few weeks on your antidepressants better silly word but maybe more able to cope. I am the same today crying at everyone feel flat and sick Helen the feelings we have surly will get better. Cannot believe a year since Kevin passed you haven't had time to breathe in that year wish I could give you a hug xx

Scarlett I am not sure of that at all as Les was 2 weeks on and a week off chemo.  I really hope all goes well. I hope they have given him something for the pain as well. We all know what that feeling is like and it is the worst. My heart breaks for you.

jkee I can’t imagine what you are thinking.  My prayers are with you also.  

not long for Les at all and he does not want me to stay over so I got really upset and anxious and have done something behind his back.  Lucy has 2 small children and daughter in Australia has grown up children. Unbeknown to Les I asked daughter in Australia to come home.  I paid for the flight and she got 2 weeks off work and due at mine on Monday and we are staying near the freeman so we can visit and be there for him.  I just felt I needed the support which is very unlike me. God knows what Les will say but there you go I have done it now. I need to see him every day when he is in and it is an hour away and visiting times means other daughter can’t visit as she has the little ones to puck up from school. Hey ho no doubt I see an argument coming on Monday.

jkee and everyone else I will be thinking of you all during this absolutely dreadful and lonely time xxx

Maggie that is wonderful news it gives you something to look forward to and support you wow when was the last time you saw her. Simon didn't let me visit last time covid was in the hospital and he stopped everyone even the nurse said poor Simon he has had no visits. This time I have already said I have told everyone they can visit. Les will be over the moon when he see your daughter even if he says you shouldn't have got her to come you will both have your spirits lifted well done hugs to you as a family xx

Thanks Jkee. I never ask anything of anyone but felt I did need the support. Thankfully her work was great as this was last minute and as you know it is nearly 24 flight. Even though I am with Les line you 24 hours a day he will be sick of the sight me just sat there. It is over a year since she was home. She came straight home when Les told her about his cancer. Hate that word. It does not hurt to show vulnerability now and then and there is only so much Lucy can do with a 4 and 7 year old. We are only a very small family. Me and Lucy.  He will be fuming as it is such a long way to come but he will get over it and stop him worrying about the op.  Jkee and everyone else wish we lived close to be able to support each other instead of virtual but that is life. When I get back we will have to make date for us all to be on at the same time with a cuppa then we may not feel so lonely.  Sending hugs to everyone xxx

I’m sure it will be lovely having your daughter for support and Les will be surprised and thrilled to see her. So hope all goes well for you all. Something for you to look forward to as well.

Helen x