Bowel cancer CARERS, FAMILY & FRIENDS chat

Good news that she is in hospital and getting treatment and you can have a well deserved couple of days to your self so take care and look after yourself!!

Helen x

Hi Vicky I am so sorry you are having such a hard time with your sister at the moment, I can’t Imagine how you must be feeling so soon after Jay. I really really hope you have positive news and are not going down this dreadful road again. 

we have Barry’s ‘celebration of life’ on Tuesday, since he passed my life has been full of visitors and flowers and cards so I am wondering what life will be like after. I haven’t had time to think  really, it is 3 weeks today he passed and yesterday was the first time I cooked my own dinner. What will my new life be like? I think I am a bit nervous but I am sure I will be ok. Trying to remember who I have to inform and will have to work out my finances as Barry’s pension does not have a spouse pension. I will need to move to a smaller house but it is such a big task clearing out 40 years of being a couple. 

sending everyone big hugs, sorry I haven’t been able to reply to everyone but you are all in my thoughts. 

Pauline xxx

Pauline you have been in my thoughts I wouldn't have expected you to have a minute the first few weeks family and friends guiding you through like you say it's later when they have all stopped moving house is stressful I hope you find somewhere that you can call home what a task hope your family help out I'm sure they will. Thinking of you for Tuesday xx

Evening Ladies!

Well it seems `lightening has indeed struck twice` Margaret- my sister is to go for surgery this coming Friday. There seems to be an awful lot of conflict of information though. I didn't find out until I phoned this morning that she has to get surgery this week. I think they put me on to a random nurse on that ward and all she said was `yes she fine, we are getting her ready for surgery this coming Friday`. I said to her nobody told me about her having surgery I was not notified. All I knew was that they were testing her bloods and if she was ok she was to get home today. The nurse I spoke- obviously foreign- (no disrespect) said `oh she know she has surgery this week`. Then I think hemicolectomy was mentioned as a small tumour has been found. I was told she had her CT scan obviously this is how they could tell there was a small tumour there. She got moved to a different ward today just along the corridor from where she was as the ward she was in was only a receiving ward. So when I was coming away today I went and asked at the nurses station if they had any idea of what surgery Margaret was having and the nurse said to me we won't know until she has had her CT scan and I said but I was told she had her CT scan and the nurse no she's not had it yet. So conflict of information going on somewhere one doesn't know what the other is doing. She has had 4 units of blood Margaret said and she is looking a lot better her face is beaming again like a wee moon and they have also got her started on iron tablets. With it being the weekend I take it there is not a lot they can tell me as a lot of the surgeons would not be on I suppose. Margaret does not use her mobile phone a lot. She has the very basic of mobile phones `a senior phone` as they call it but because of her learning difficulties and mental health problems she tends to keep it switched off she thinks when she phones someone people can listen in to her phone calls so if the doctor told her this morning about surgery she wouldn't have had the sense to ask them to phone me and let me know and I just found out about it when I phoned on an update for her. The nurse said to me oh whoever told you about the hemicoletomy should not have said that because we don't know the type of surgery yet or told you that she had her CT because apparently she hasn't I think I will just need to wait until Monday until all the senior staff are present before I find out what is happening. Never rains but it pours. Pauline I will be thinking of you next week hope everything goes well for you and sending my love to everyone else. Take Care. 

Vicky xx

Pauline I hope all goes well for you and sending you a big hug xx

Vicky every time you ring always ask who you are talking to, the date and time and keep a little diary for yourself.  No one should say anything unless they know for definite. Your sister may not even have cancer until the ct scan and a biopsy. I really feel for you being told one thing and then something else. I really don’t know how you are coping with all the conflicting scenarios.  Just sit down and breathe for a bit to get your mind set. Bullet point things you want to ask and the what ifs. This always helps me when I want to know what is going on. Also write a letter that you must be informed of any decisions to be made as you are her carer. Just take care. Hugs Maggie xx

How confusing left hand doesn’t seem to know what the right hand is doing!! Bank holiday weekend so expect there will be just skeleton staff. Your poor sister probably doesn’t understand what’s going on but pleased she looks a lot better and bet she was pleased to see you.

as everyone has said Pauline hope all goes on on Tuesday 

Helen x

Gosh Vicky to be honest this is what happened to us with Simon when he was rushed in said had scans but he had not etc etc .Think Monday you will get answers you really couldn't write this could you as already said you are going to think the worst after Jay but hopefully this story is completely different. Sending love xx

Thanks everyone!

I am having a `day off` visiting today my lovely cousin Linda said she will go up and see her today and told me to take the day off and Margarets two friends Ann and Fiona are going too so she will have visitors today at least. Head's pounding but don't know if that's because of the couple of G n T's I had to myself last night. Not been drinking much these days but felt I needed it last night but don't make a habit of it. I'll hopefully get answers tomorrow when I phone the cololectoral nurse I'm sure she will be able to tell me something. I know her so know that she is good at what she does. Hope everyone else is bearing up ok. Take Care. 

Vicky x

Pauline will be thinking about you today 

Helen x

Dear Pauline,

Thinking of you today and hope everything goes well for you and to plan. God Bless You All.

Vicky xx