Bowel cancer CARERS, FAMILY & FRIENDS chat

Gosh jkee what a strong man. You will have been so anxious with him taking himself. I can’t believe he drove all that way and back. I know like you I would be beside myself as it is the waiting for everything and the hope. Les has lung and back in bowel and on the adrenal gland. I like you wake up in the morning exhausted with anxiety etc. love yo you all xxxx

Hi Jkee how are you coping. I am doing awful today. Pain on chest the left side, feel nauseous probably all the anxiety. I don’t seem to get coping that well now. How on earth are you coping xxx

Evening  how strange is this I to have had left breast pain today put it down to stress or heartburn  can't  have anything  happen to us Simon wouldn't  cope without me . I am just going from dayvto day just never know what each day brings I'm  tired exhausted  but OK sorry you are struggling  hope the feeling  has passed by the time you read this it's  brutal isn't  it never ending sending hugs to you xx 

Well Les was throwing up at 2 so in the wide awake club. Absolutely dreadful watching them and not being able to do anything.  I am literally like you mentally and physically exhausted. Sending you a big hug xxxx

Hello Ladies!

Just reading your posts. Seems things are really taking their toll on you both. Gosh Maggie Les driving himself to and from the hospital but that's good he can still actually do it. That was the thing with Jay he always wanted to know if it would be ok for him to drive to appointments. Can't believe that both of you now may be looking to the future without them they have fought so hard over the last couple of years but hopefully there is hope and they can still be made comfortable for as long as possible it's a horrible predicament to be in and as always I send you all my love and strength. Take Care. 

Vicky xx

Hi Vicky.  Firstly thank you for your support. Les unfortunately on this chemo I taking its toll on him and I am on high alert constantly and extremely anxious all the time, not wanting to go out etc. I just wish I had a good friend who woukd just pop in and take the load for a bit but Rufus plays up.  In all honesty I thought after his two operations things were on the up but then more bad news. I can’t stand to see him so tired and throwing up.  It hurts so bad. Like jkee Simon did really well driving all that way and back again.  They are both strong men but seeing them now is devastating.  Usually by today he feels a lot better and he slept better last night. I could cry but then I would not stop as I have never let my emotions out and that I think is my problem. Jkee is so strong in herself coping The way she does but I am not, just can’t be bothered to do anything.  Probably a bit of depression to boot as well.  Thinking of you all and sending love xxxx

• Hi Vicky and Maggie  first of all thankyou for  your  continued  support  Vicky yes it feels like I've  been  grieving  for over  2 years we don't  have a future  but only  take today don't  think any further. Maggie  let me say I am not strong  anymore  caring  for someone  with cancer  is brave it's  heartbreaking  the things  cancer  takes  from you Simon is 58years old was working kids had all just left home suppose  to be enjoying  our time it's  taken his work his business  family fun times.i like you am on edge 24 hours a day when we walk together  I'm  forever snapping  Simon talks to everyone  giving  dog treats I'm  forever saying don't  go near dogs mouths don't  stand next to him he's  coughing wear your hats put your gloves on etc .watching over him like a hawk scscared of him ending up in hospital  with infections wrapping him in cotton  wool so obviously  I do his head in .Maggie  have a good cry don't  stop it gosh it feels good at the moment  while we are waiting from christie  Manchester  I'm just numb  also fed up people  say go out in sunshine  after morning  walk he sleeps has fatigue  so has no energy to go anywhere  so these nice days feel isisolated.finally  as far as the dog I'm  with you Hugo is a pain still in evening scratching  sofa wants  attention  doesn't  settle till bedtime but Simon has a special  bond the master adore each other so so have to put up with it but hard work isn't  it .We are all brave I have no one to talk to apart from cancer we haven't  been on holiday been out for the day so stopped ringing  people sure they get fed up hearing us we are here for each other  on here always love to everyone  ️ 

Jkee I each what you say. Everything has gone. I need a pill now before I go out as I feel so claustrophobic.  I need all sorts doing and when I mention getting someone in he says NO I will do it and now I don’t feel like cleaning etc even though I do.  Yes Rufus is like Hugo wanting attention but he is Les therapy dog. One or two friends come just to see Les but not me and where do I go on my own, it takes all my time to go out with my daughter for an hour if I do.  I am praying for you to get the news you want from Manchester. It is never ending and 2 years of grieving when we should be enjoying being with them. It is just worry worry worry.  My bungalow just needs sorting after spending years at the hospital with his mum and dad and the travelling and then 6 month later after retiring early when his mum passed at 92 Les was diagnosed.  I do get angry that for the last 10 years this like you was our time. Gosh I am whinging but that is how I feel.  Love to everyone xxxx

Jkee how is going or dare I not ask.  Les can’t have chemo this week as neutrophils too low. My cholesterol is high and like you I am feeling rotten.  Les has been really funny with me and taking the mickey a lot and I am at my wits end with it all.  Tummy ache, clench teething etc etc. just not coping, feeling really down. 

love to everyone xxx

Evening Maggie sorry to hear you are struggling I am also Simon is having Chemo tomorrow and targeted we were told from oncology his white count was low last week and his liver wasn't coping so depending on bloods on Monday if he could have chemo this Wednesday. So I decided to research how to repair liver during chemo and the diet suggested was kale spinach beetroot fruit coffee advocado so he has had them all weekend and blood was ok to go ahead. Last week was awful he went on walk with Hugo left his phone at home went searching for him after 4 hours panicking found him walking back from the town he could not understand why I was shouting and stressed he just wanted to clear his head also oncology rang on his phone while he was out I was furious . We got over that but then it was warm and he was fatigued so we were just in the house soo cruel Cancer nothing is the same or will ever be my heart goes out to you and everyone in this black hole hugs to you xx