Hi all, thank you for accepting me. My husband has been diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer. At present I am not accepting it, it makes me feel sick, panicky, shaky etc. it was a complete shock. Anybody else in the same situation. Many thanks
Hi Patty. So sad to hear the news you have been given. I am new to this thread but would like to say I am sending you big cwtches. I hope you can get him home with you. Stay strong xxx
Just sitting trying to take in what today has brought. Head is all over the place as you could imagine. Phone has started ringing and Facebook messages have been coming in from family and friends I thought should know first. Haven't splashed it over Facebook just messaged people. Trying to find some of Jay's friends he lost contact with. Just so surreal I can't believe it's happening. Helen you of course have been there and got the T shirt so to say. I think I can say I'm at the `anticipatory` stage he's still here but I know he won't be for much longer. Trying to watch TV but just more or less sitting looking at the screen not really taking in what's going on. No more contact from the hospital yet so imagine they are trying to get things in place for him coming home. Speak to you all soon.
Just out the shower and just sitting trying to comprehend what the day has brought. Phone has started ringing so word has got out. Jay's oldest nephew Scott phoned. He's quite loud and brash but means well. He has always been close to Jay as he used to take him out to work with him when he was a wee boy- he's 52 now with a family of his own his younger brother is a bit quieter and more reserved though. The facebook messages have been coming through as well just messaging the people I think should know just now and not splashing it over Facebook he's not gone just yet. I think I am at the anticipatory stage he's not gone yet but will be going. My head is just all over the place and I just feel as if I am walking about not knowing what to do. I will be going to he GP pharmacy tomorrow to pick up my prescription for Diazepam. I feel I just need something to take the edge off so the GP agreed to prescribe them for me under the circumstances. I am sitting here shaking I don't know if it's shock or disbelief that this is actually happening. Tried phoning Jay but it's pointless I just get a `hello` and then a like a muffled sound like `Darth Vader` and then I ask him how he is and he said I'm tired- just tired and I say I'll let you go then and he'll say ok cherrio. I said to him are you looking forward to coming home and he said `Am I coming home`? so I just don't know if that is the memory starting to go now as well. Just have to see what tomorrow brings. Night All Sleep well if you can. I'll try my best.
Well, just sitting reflecting on the day and what is ahead. I just hope I have the strength to cope. GP has prescribed something for me to take the edge off things in the circumstances. Sitting her shaking don't know if its' shock or disbelief. Court you are so right he has endured so much I think now his body has decided it's time to give up. Just want him home now to spend what time we have left together. It was as I said his wish to be home and I need to honour that. It may not go ahead though if it works out that he is not fit enough to be transported home in the ambulance but they said they will do their best to accomodate it and get a decent care package in place. Going to bed shortly and hopefully try and get some sleep. Night everyone!
Patty the tablets will help but they will only be prescribed short term. Doctor put me on mirtazapine and I take a quarter of the 15mg. They have relaxed me a lot and keep me calm.
Les has just hot up and he said he feels bloated and full of wind and can only poop when he lets the wind out. he gets up and then goes to sleep on the sofa. Now he has said that I am feeling very anxious
Patty again no words can make you feel any better but we are all here for you.
Sorry if i repeated myself last night I posted a couple of times the same thing and it didn't go through and was being moderated and there you have it repeat posts. Slept ok- I think took me a little while to nod off loads of things going round in my head but I think I finally concked out. Think the dog is feeling it too. He never usually bothers but he has been up on the bed sleeping beside me at night he's not his usual jumping all over the place and just kind of skulks around the place. They say animals can sense these things too though. Need to get him to the groomers he is like a `scraggy rat` and usually around this time it would be his 6 monthly visit but it's not priority. My cousin dropping by today `Linda In A Crisis` I call her sounds awful, but this is about the only time we see one another when things like this happen. We are always going to go for lunch some day but it never seems to happen. She lives not far from me and she's always there whatever I need someone like her to guide me unfortunately my sister just hasn't a clue. Just give her a plate of food and a TV game show and she's happy. Speak to you all soon.
Morning how did you sleep daft question I know gosh wish we could all go back a year this heat is not helping I hope you have lots of support and comfort from your family and friends to help you through sending love xx
