Hi all, thank you for accepting me. My husband has been diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer. At present I am not accepting it, it makes me feel sick, panicky, shaky etc. it was a complete shock. Anybody else in the same situation. Many thanks
Yes I am 69 in September. He has slept since yesterday and I have just checked and he is snoring. He has to be careful what he eats as the tumour is too big and he takes laxido to help him go. The loo is always a mess. I must have the cleanest loo as he does clean it but it goes everywhere even the underneath of the seat. I really feel for him. I am pleased he had a good day let us hope it continues. I cannot find my other message I sent you, keep nagging to the housing associations as I do feel for you.
Today does not look as nice as yesterday. As usual you are all in my thoughts and heart felt hugs to all. Love Maggie xx
bit dull and grey here this morning which is just how I feel. Sorted paperwork out for registrar but can’t face any breakfast. Stomach is churning.
snap I was born in 1954 and will be 69 in June.
at least we will be able to sort out cremation sometime today- everyone asking to come and when but Kevin didn’t want any fuss and we are going with his wishes
Morning everyone I'm nagging Simon all the time don't eat that cake you will feed the cancer don't eat red meat don't feed it but your right I'm nagging thinking he's eating too much cheese biscuits crisp don't want him putting on too much weight want him fit to fight but looking at him no weight is going on him so maybe your right cancer takes everything think while he can will let him enjoy food .Helen you are amazing dealing with everything including the rest of the family I think I will just not cope with paper work daily task I can remember when I found out about the cancer the surgery blood clots sepsis I couldn't even focus on eating I quess we have had time to accept it more. We have a 6ft hedge Simon used to cut I'm the one holding ladder he keeps saying when I'm strong we can do it obviously never going to happen .Simon is self employed I don't work now I look after grandchildren taken 4 months to hear from pip love to you all we ladies are strong deep breathing xxxxxx
That was Jay too at one point before he got his stoma. Poo everywhere! Now he doesn't actually physically use the toilet as everything just gets collected in bags now. The ironic thing is, he has no problems in that area and his stoma fires on all cylinders some days he won't get an output at all and other days it doesn't stop. Thats a good thing though because he worries if its not working at all for days at a time. I think I could `nag` until the cows come home Maggie regarding housing and it still wouldn't do any good. To these people sometimes you are just a number on a long list and they have the last say but I live in hope as I've said previously maybe I'll get a wee surprise and some maybe drop out and i'll go up the list. I remember years ago my mum tried to get a transfer to another house and it never worked for her either and that was 30 odd years ago so they never change. As I said it's sometimes a case of `who you know`. My mum did eventually get a move but only because they were demolishing the houses she lived in to make way for new builds. She was only in her new house a couple of years before she passed. It's always the same pay your rent/mortgage and bills regularly and get nothing. He phoned me the morning sounding really `chipper` I think its for the fact that he maybe getting home this weekend. I woke up this morning with my usual stomach in knots slight tightening in my shoulders etc. Actually went out today walked along to the cash machine to get some money for my sister went the long way round for fear of bumping into any neighbours- sounds terrible I know but that's how it is just now just going out my way to avoid everyone and feel safer once back inside.
I know how you feel Vicky as I dread meeting people when I’ve been out and try to avoid them. Kevin’s stoma was no bother and wish that was the only thing he had.
Back from registrars just feels like Kevin’s been rubbed out and so upsetting- now to sort cremation out next
Think that's the way of it. Seems it doesn't matter what you eat with cancer it just saps all the proteins and goodness out of the foods you're eating to hopefully build up energy which the cancer takes too. Jay has been fighting on two fronts though because he has had sepsis which can apparently cause muscle decrease and wastage too as well as the cancer. His arms just have a lot of loose skin hanging and arms look really thin. His legs are like matchsticks can't believe how thin they are this time last year he at least had some muscle on them his shoulders are really drawn in too. As I said it's so hard to see him as he is but I guess this is how he will be now. He's lost about 7 stone in weight. He is down to 15 stone (95Kg or thereabouts in new money) and at his heaviest he was 22 stone. Looking at these BMI conversion charts online though apparently his weight still comes up as being obese! He still has a little bit of a tummy but that is not as prominent as it was either.
Jkee I have no chance of cutting the hedge as it is about 9 feet high. Thankfully son in law cut the grass. Les does eat some wrong food and suffers for it. It is horrendous when he goes. Patty I hope all goes well. As usual heartfelt hugs to all. I will be back on later as daughter has just arrived Maggie xx
Seems I've lost a bit of weight too (not surprising!) I put on a top this morning that used to be really tight across my chest- and that's after numerous washings and now it hangs. I'm eating but not eating as much with Jay not here so don't know if that's a good thing or not and he is just eating what they give him in hospital. He says if they give him salad, he doesn't eat the tomatoes because he said they are like bricks and quite hard so he leaves them and the cucumber aside as he doesn't like cucumber and gets copious amounts of leaves (lettuce). I'm not caring just as long as he's eating and just hope he keeps it up when he gets home. Changed days, he used to gorge on cream cakes pastries, biscuits etc and now when you offer him a cake or biscuit its a `no`. I got myself a packet of fruit gums from the shop in the hospital yesterday and asked if he wanted one (the red and black ones are always his favourites) but he even refused those. He eats mints now thats about the only sweet he will eat just now. They're loaded with sugar though and push his blood sugar levels up. That has all been normal too. His blood pressure is sitting at an acceptable level and his blood sugars too. Sometimes he says his blood sugar is low in the mornings and they come in and give him some kind of tablet and glucose drink that pushes it back up again. His blood sugar sits between 5-6 he said which they are saying is acceptable. His blood pressure is back up in the 100's again for the top reading and between 70 and 80 for the bottom readings.
That's why I weirdly like the winter months when its dark for practically 24 hours a day you very rarely see anyone at that time of the year. In the spring/summer you're supposed to be happy and jolly out and about etc. Usually that doesn't bother me and I'm one of the first to be in the back garden when it's a heatwave soaking up the rays but this year not feeling it and just don't care if it rains everyday until the end of August/September. My wee back garden would usually have full lines of washing as well but it's just taking all my time just now to actually load the washing machine. Amazing how the way you wouldn't think twice about doing something can suddenly become a chore when you feel really overwhelmed. Just changed the bedding in anticipation of Jay coming home over the weekend. If he does, he does if not, well gave me an excuse to change them anyway.
I agree with everything you say. I have tummy ache but not sure if it because Les does not look well or what I ate last night after he went to bed at 7 ut he slept all day as well. He was also red hot so I must get a thermometer that works. Ours has packed in. All I can say is I am not bothered. I have not dusted for a week and have not hung the washing out either. It is so sad . Always in my thoughts Maggie xx
