Can’t control my mind

MrsH2014d3a1a1 1 month ago

3 replies
127 subscribers
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Hey! I was diagnosed with colon cancer on 02/09/25 during a colonoscopy.
after that everything moved so fast I didn’t have time to think about the what ifs.
07/10/25 I had anterior resection surgery as well as having my tubes and ovaries removed along with my appendix.
had a stay in hospital for a week then, the complication made itself know which resulted in me back in hospital the next day for another surgery to give me a stoma. All in all I had 3 weeks in hospital. my cancer was stage 1 T2 which im extremely grateful for and it’s all be removed. No chemo or any other treatment was needed.

it’s now February 2026 and I am terrified of everything, I’m thinking about too much and cannot stop myself looking on google.
I think I am driving myself mad at this point. I am still in a significant amount of pain which isn’t helping, I was referred to the pain clinic but I received a letter saying they can’t se me for 14 months and even after that they won’t be able to expedite my appointment??

I feel lost, alone and scared that now I’ve had cancer I’m at a higher risk of getting it again, I’m 41 with 5 amazing children and a precious granddaughter.
I just want to be happy and not worry anymore.

court 1 month ago

https://www.workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf

A lot of people have found this a helpful read .

Take care ,

Court

Helpline Number 0808 808 0000

Kareno62 1 month ago

Hi MrsH2014d3a1a1 and sending you a big virtual hug. The link that Court has sent you is really good and there’s also some great posts on the board below

Life after cancer forum

Google is not good for you as it’s full of misleading information and out of date stats. It’s tempting to look at survival rates but they’re not helpful as you are not a statistic, you are a person. No two people are alike and you can’t compare with another person of the same staging who might have other underlying health problems or may be significantly older? Treatment is improving every year so the ‘5 year survival’ figures are from people diagnosed 5 years ago so not accurate.

Try to focus on the fact that the cancer has been removed. You will be regularly monitored for at least 3 years and I found that each clear scan or CEA check helped put the worry further away.
Worrying upsets your insides which doesn’t help when you’ve had part of your bowel removed and it won’t change whatever the future has in store for you. What it will do is stop you enjoying the present so try not to let it spoil your time with your family.

Does your local hospital have a Maggies Centre where you can go in to chat with someone or a local support group? You can put your postcode in the link below and see what’s near you?

https://www.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support/in-your-area?pcode=

Hope this helps and take care

Karen x

Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm

Osboz 20 days ago

Hi MrsH2014d3a1a1,

You've been through a lot in a pretty short space of time! Your T2 diagnosis is good news , but I bet that's not what you're focussed on!

After your diagnosis, treatment and now the ongoing side effects of this you need to give yourself time. Up to now, your brain has been dealing with the immediacy of what's been happening and allowing you to just get through it all, it now needs to start getting to grips with it all - processing everything that has happened to you in the last 6 months or so. That can take time.

I can tell you that after my diagnosis, treatment and surgery, which included a permanent stoma, I probably didn't really feel right again mentally/emotionally for about 2 years and I don't think that's unusual.

I agree with Kareno62 that Google is a not a great idea, but I also used it to read medical articles (much of which I didn't understand) as a way of making sense of my experience. I also had some counselling through Macmillan to help with the PTSD symptoms, which was really helpful.

Be gentle with yourself. You're not going mad! Your response is a reasonable one in light of your experience. T

Keep trying to find moments of joy with your lovely family and in things you used to enjoy, if and when you can.

I'm sorry to hear you're in such pain and hope that will ease with time too.

This forum is great for sharing those scary feelings! Someone is always listening and can relate to what you're saying.

Wishing you well.

Osboz.