Chemotherapy and stress

Hi Kell

i am feeling exactly the same as you with my next treatment starting Thursday. Having the break after radiotherapy has made me think things are just as they were before the diagnosis. Now its all very real again and im feeling quite scared about the side effects, having the PICC line put in, not knowing how unwell i will feel this time week. Everyone keeps saying oh youre so brave it will all be fine. I know they say this to be helpful but it makes me feel like i cant actually be honest about my feelings which adds more stress and sadness. I too want my old life back, the one were i could at least plan what i would do next weekend. Sorry thats not much help but at least you know you arent alone feeling like this. I  have contacted a local cancer support charity and asked to have some counselling which they did offer but initially i refused. Is this something you could look for locally as well? claire x

Hi Kell. Yes I’m afraid cancer doesn’t tend to take over your life and suddenly all the adverts on telly and soap story lines start to jump out at you. Having said that you have a certain amount of control as to how much you let it affect you? Tony will have days when he feels rough but others when he doesn’t feel too bad so plan something nice for those days. You can still go out for meals or, if this doesn’t feel comfortable, order a takeaway/get a meal deal and watch a good film or play a board game. 

If you cast your mind back to how worried you were about him starting chemoradiotherapy and it’s over and done with now and you got through it. Tick that box off and now move onto the chemo. It may not be as bad as you are expecting - sometimes the word chemo is scarier than the actual treatment?

Dont try and be superwoman. Accept help when it’s offered. Try and do something for you every week - meet friends for a coffee, go for a walk, go to the gym/shops. The old adage of putting your oxygen mask before helping others rings true here - you have to be in a good place mentally and physically to support Tony and be a mum too. 

It is a hard stressful time but there will be an end to it and normal life will slowly but surely return. Nobody knows what their future holds so try to live in the present and take each day as it comes.

Big virtual hug on the way and keep posting - we’re here for you

Take care

Karen x

Hi Kell

I started my chemo/radiotherapy last Wednesday and have had today off before starting again tomorrow.

I am at the moment feeling ok but I have another 21 days to go so I’m sitting here wondering if the side effects will knock me for six or creep up on before I realise. Like you I’m scared of what comes next and thought I couldn’t plan anything until treatment had finished but I decided that if I did that I wouldn’t do anything. 
My daughter asked me if I wanted to go on holiday in October and after giving it a lot of thought I agreed because it was something to look forward to. I am so pleased I did and I cant wait. 

It’s quite normal to be anxious but try and take some time out to care for you. Perhaps do some of the things Karen has suggested, have a look to do something together as a family once his treatment has finished. Believe me it helps a little bit if you have something to aim for and you never know it may help your husband for a short while in helping you and your son plan something. 

Claire - i can relate to a lot of what you have said too. I have tablets instead though and not having chemo by IV

Karen - you were kind to me when I joined the group a few weeks ago, thank you  

 Mags x

Hi Claire 

Lovely to hear off you.

It is a very strange feeling after having the 2 weeks off that we are now going back to the hoapital.

Tony has an appointment tomorrow for bloods and to see the chemo specialist. Got a few questions to ask him so getting ready for that.

I know I am not the one going through the treatment but it is hard for me when people say are you ok? I juat want to tell them exactly how I feel but am I being selfish?

Like you we are worried about the side effects, will he get any? If so how bad? Will we cope?

I juat hope you both manage to sail through it and that is another part ticked off.

Good luck for Thursday, let me know how you get on.

Lv Kell xx

Hi Karen

Thank you for replying.

I have noticed every advert, soap story and news article all have something to do with Cancer. I never noticed before. To be honest it is like it is there to remind me what os happening. (Sounds daft really)

I am a planner and have to know what we are doing in advance so this has completely thrown me. We are looking at hopefully going on holiday when treatment has finished but obviously can't do anything yet.

I was at a suprise 6pth party last night but although I was only there a few hours I felt guilty leaving Tony at home as he hasn't really been out much.

Appointment with the chemo specialist tomorrow before starting chemo on Tuesday. Counting the days down to the end already!!

Thanks for the virtual hug just what I needed. 

Take care lv Kell

Hi Mags,

Tony had 5 and half weeks of chemoradiotherapy, the side effects didn't kick in until half way through. 

If I could advise on something it would be to make sure you use the moisturiser even if you don't need it yet. Make sure you keep hydrated too as the radiation can cause you to be dehydrated.

We are looking at booking a holiday when he finishes treatment, can't book just yet as he may or may not have surgery after chemo so can't plan that far ahead.

It is such a mad time for us all. Tony is having chemo through IV and chemo tablets too so don't know what the side effects will be like yet.

Take care and let me know how you get on lv kell xx