Has anyone else been in a similar situation?

I have been in to the hospital to see him but have yet to catch dr for an update since Tuesday. I do know that they will be keeping him in for longer than they thought, probably a month +. They want to start him on chemo while in there but that’s all I know.

Has anyone else had this happen? I’m absolutely terrified that he won’t come out. 

thanks 

Hi ,

My mum has just had a month in hospital . They were working on what felt like minor things to me towards the end but they can be pretty important in terms of being ready to take future treatment . One was fluid in her abdomen post surgery . Over a week on that one aspect alone .

But credit to them everything was in better order when she left .

They covered every aspect .

Getting electrolytes, fluids and liver function in good shape can make such a difference to tolerating chemotherapy. My mum stayed in hospital overnight the second year she had chemotherapy. That way they were able to infuse it slowly through the night which helped her side effects . They were also able to make quick adjustments on site if you like .

However it’s a long haul for the patient and for visiting .

I would definitely put some thought into keeping him occupied and engaged . When mum got a bit better we would take her in a hospital wheelchair for coffee in a different part of the hospital .

Big long charging cable and some good movies .

Take care ,

court 

Thank you court. I’m frantic, clearly! 

I know he is in the best place, just awful not knowing what even the next few months look like from health point of view. Knowing a plan would be good.

You have calmed me down a little! Thank you 

Still no update from the doctor, and I'm getting increasingly anxious. I have emailed his secretary as I can't make it in today, and I'm worried about him and my mum receiving any more bad news on their own. No reply from the secretary. He's been in for over a week now. Bone scan yesterday. Is it normal for updates to be this slow? Thanks

Unfortunately yes . It’s a bit quicker as an inpatient but pathology can take a week or two to exam the tissues .

take care ,

Court 

Hi again

Dad looking a bit brighter after surgery and recovering well but still no update from Dr! No idea of prognosis or treatment plan. Have asked for them to call me several times and left my number but nothing. They do ward round in the mornings but only topline update - checking stitches etc. Said today he could be home on Wednesday! I've contacted the secretary too but no reply. I have lots of questions about his care etc. Is this normal to wait so long? Is no news good news?! 

Hi Worrier26

Roughly speaking I think pathology can around two weeks . In terms of treatment /chemotherapy it’s roughly six weeks after surgery before they would consider giving it . 
In between those time frames an appointment with the oncologist should come through to discuss the plan .

However it would be great to get the pathology report before he leaves hospital. That would give you a lot of insight .

So glad your dad is getting home . Great recovery and hopefully onto step two on his plan .

Take care ,

Court 

Thanks Court. 

My dad just had that top line update today. No idea of any details apart from spread to lymph nodes as he has become very forgetful and they haven't updated family - I'm becoming increasingly concerned with the lack of communication. He is 2 weeks post surgery and I know it takes a while for biopsies to come back but we literally haven’t had an update from any Dr at all. Spoke to Clinical Lead nurse last night but she couldn't tell me much. Mentioned to her that he is increasingly confused, and I was worried about that ahead of discharge this week. She said she would look in to that.

We have no idea of outlook or why lymph nodes weren't removed. His Chemo starts next Thursday, that I do know. Does that mean he has been discussed at their MDT meeting? Sorry for the ramble, am worried now and not sure if I should chase them again. I have left my number several times and contacted 2 secretaries but have had nothing back. Any  ideas? Know I'm like a broken record, sorry! 

It would be normal practice to have an mdt meeting to decide on the best course of treatment for him . I would have thought that was the case .

Do you know if he has met with his oncologist and signed consent forms for chemo . I am just wondering if that’s what is going on next week ? If so you want to get someone in at the meeting as you will hear a lot of information.

Also is your dad still on morphine ? You might like to ask about that . My mum was and was getting cognitive tests . However once the morphine was removed she was absolutely fine .

You are not a broken record . A concerned relative more like . Not sure what age your dad is or if it’s appropriate. Does your mum have a POA document for your dad ? 

I would raise your concern that he is confused and the next of kin does not actually know what’s wrong . They should start a cognitive assessment on him right away and advise you if you need to activate POA . They told us to do so with my dad when he could not advocate for himself .

Take care ,

Court 

No idea what's happening next week. He was just told chemo will start on Thursday. 

No, he isn't on any morphine or opiate based drugs. He was on iv antibiotics for an infection but just paracetamol for pain. Really worried this is a bad sign. 

My parents aren't married. They have been together 35 years (he's my step dad) would she still be able to hold POA? He is 68. 

Thanks