Scared

Bless you, 

it is tough tough tough on you both - I am so sorry.

he is young and hopefully strong, so will hopefully do well on the chemo treatment. Court will be on this site soon and will tell of her mother who is fighting colon cancer stage 4 and has been now for over 11 years.

my thoughts go to you both.

paula

Hi Yoda1314 and a warm welcome to the board from me. Yes it’s a terrible shock to receive news like this but Bowel Cancer is very treatable nowadays and once there is a treatment plan in place for your hubby then things will feel a little better. Please stay away from google - it is out of date and downright scary in places - stay on here and the Bowel Cancer uk Board. I’m sure court will be along shortly but you may also want to look at another couple of boards on here for carers and friends and family - it’s under the cancer experiences section

https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer_experiences#pifragment-13088=4

Please post whenever you need to - you can rant, cry, scream or ask questions and we’ll send you a virtual hug and help you both through this

Take care

Karen x

Thank you for your kind words

I wearing his clothes, smelling them, I'm so scared to lose this. I'm trying to pluck up the strength and courage to help him through this. For so long he's always been my pillar of strength, my rock, my reassurance and now its my turn to do this for him. I cant let him down. 

How will we know when he's been given a treatment plan that its best for him? How can we find a second opinion if needed?  What should we ask? I've notice many on this board know their medicines and what trials or treatments are  available etc, but they all sound so confusing. 

Hi Yoda1314. Please try not to assume the worse. After the PET scan then the experts from all the different fields will meet and decide the best way forward. There are some genetic issues that can cause Bowel cancer at a young age and I’m sure that Court will be able to offer you some more information about this type of testing. 

There are a lot of stage 4 people on the Bowel Cancer UK Board with a lot of knowledge and there’s a bigger footfall than on here so you might want to join that board as well? 

https://community.bowelcanceruk.org.uk/

There’s going to be some tough times ahead but you need to look after yourself to support your hubby - ‘remember to put your own oxygen mask on first’ - so learn as much as you can from the boards and information available and the people on both boards will help you through this

Take care

Karen x

Hi Yoda1314, it's a lot to take in for both of you, and a new world of tests and terminology. Don't worry you'll learn as you go, forums like this are a godsend, especially in those dark times when you feel lost. My lovely husband was diagnosed stage 4 bowel cancer October 27th last year so we're relatively new too. Reading your post I could so relate, but here I am 3 months into it and we're doing OK, you will too. Stepping up, being the strength is not always easy and sometimes you won't feel you can be enough, you'll be sad, angry, scared and believe it or not hopeful and positive.

Look after yourself too, so that you can be that support, of course support comes in many guises, not only being strong but just being there, sometimes just holding each other. 

Take good care, love Frances xxx

Thank you all, we are strangers here but I'm truly grateful from the support of you all. Thank you. I guess waiting for appointment for the pet scan has left me more anxious and everyday where nothing is done leaves me frustrated and scared that the cancer will spread.

The waiting is the worst, once your husband gets his treatment plan, it gets easier, but unfortunately to get the best plan they need all of the results to consider. I was the same couldn't bear the waiting, hang in there,

Love Frances xx

Hi Yoda1314

Big welcome to the forum . Don’t worry a bit about not using forums . I don’t even use Facebook and everyone here is very understanding.

My heart goes out to you . The early days of a diagnosis send you into a complete spin and all who love the person too.

You only have limited information just now until the complete the scans however my own mum’s PET scans have never shown anything the CT scan did not uncover . But it’s good to have the reassurance of both to complete the information.

Dont worry about the chemo . There is a pretty universal approach to treating stage 4 disease although they have ramped that up from when my mum was diagnosed. Did they mention if it was right side of his colon ? 

Bowel cancer is very fortunate to have a few good chemos to start with . It allows the visible spread to be tackled and hopefully shrink and reigns in any microdisease. 
They take extremely good care of them and before each cycle they check bloods etc and get feedback on how the last cycle went . Make any adjustments and support as required .

After a set amount of cycles they rescan to see if other options to tackle the disease can be added . My mum became operable twice through chemo . If you click on my user name you will be able to read her full journey . 

I think strong would be the last word I would have used to describe myself back in 2009 . However I loved my mum and I showed up and tried my best . Sometimes I got it all wrong but she overlooked that . Sometimes I got it right . A strength did come and one way or another I did all that was required of me to make her life easier . 
You will notice as you get a more familiar with this that some people are doing well four and five years whilst remaining on active treatment. It’s becoming more of a chronic condition as more treatments have developed in recent years . The odds were stacked against my mum on so many levels yet despite it all chemo worked and she is doing well 11 1/2 years later . The 1/ 2 matters !!

I was just down clearing the snow off her drive as she has a few tricks up her sleeve . She would be down there putting her bins out . 
You sound as though you have a beautiful relationship. That’s a strong foundation to take you both forward .

Take care ,

Court 

Frances- the wait is definitely unbearable, doesn't help im such an impatient and anxious person.

Court- it feels strange seeking reassurance and advice online, as like u I'm dont have fb and other social media.

I'm genuinely so happy to hear about your mum, I'm so happy she's responded so well, she's a real fighter, a truly admirable woman and I shall tell my husband about her. 

My husband has had 2 ct scans so far as the first time his abdomen was so inflamed they could not make an accurate diagnosis,  hence the reason why he was on antibiotics.

His mass is on his right abdomen which is also why the Dr thought it was appendix related.

When the dr gave the diagnosis it was scary. He went.on to talk about chemotherapy and if my husband wanted it, leaving me feeling that they had no hope.  

Court, you sound amazing,I can only hope I can gain half the strength and determination you and everyone here all displayed here. 

Thank you all from the bottom.of my heart