Scared

Hi hun I had right side cancer I had my operation October 2019. It was a shock but I was determined to beat it and I tol them before they asked me that I would have chemo because I wanted it all gone I started my chemo the day before Xmas eve that year and yes I had a bit of a rocky road but I came through it and November 2020 I was told that my blood and my scan were looking really good. 

I know it’s hard for other members of the family but hang on in there and you will all get through it you just need to stay positive and strong. I wish you all all the best. X

Hi Yoda1314, just sending lots of love & hugs. And I agree with you the waiting for scans and results is worse. It hard to be brave, but wonderful people on this site and I phoned the Macmillan support line a lot. Take care xx

The Macmillan helpline has been invaluable to us these few days, have definitely made a few calls already, they even have intrepreters for emotional support. That is invaluable as it would help our parents whose native tongue isn't english.

So hubby has PET scan tomorrow,  I'm relieved and scared at the same time ,that there's progress in terms of diagnosis but so scared at the unknown. He has a meeting with oncologist on 26th, that is another worry.  We been told he's very nice and experienced but how will we know he will provide hubby with the best treatment plan? I need someone to be have hubbys back, be his advocate and equally believe in him.  

Xxx

Hi Yoda1314,

A lot of us have been in exactly the same situation.

First thing I'd say is to not have too much expectation of yourself - don't feel bad for feeling upset. You almost have to allow yourself to be overwhelmed. You will start to process the situation and how you feel and be able to concentrate on being there for your husband.

All you will be thinking is the worst, it's natural. My wife and I did exactly the same. But as things become more clear you will realise that the doctors will have a plan.

I wish so much I could transport you to the future, and you'll look back and tell yourself to try and relax.

Please take something from the fact that you found us here, and for someone that doesn't vocalise I reckon you're doing just fine :)

How is your husband doing? Like I said, it will be a total rollercoaster for these first couple of weeks, but you will both start to find it easier. Especially when you get to see the doctors - and yeah, visiting them is tough because it's all unknown. I got through it by giving the problem, so to speak, to the doctors --it's their problem to fix. Using that mindset it helped me at least stop worrying too much.

I hope you can keep us updated, keep talking about it as much as you can. You definitely are not alone and you won't feel like this forever.

All my thoughts are with you.

Dear Yoda

Sorry you find yourself on here, we're generally great people but I think we'd all prefer not to be ' members of the club.'  The two of you must be desperate for information,  and sadly there will be none for what seems an interminable time.  For your own sanity DON'T GOOGLE ANYTHING.   It is a place of false information and downright lies, my favourite, as I've repeated many times, is a lady in Arizona who advised those with bowel cancer to eat nothing & sit facing the sun for 8 hrs a day 'living on the fruits of nature', clearly she's never wintered in Liverpool.   The time between diagnosis and O/P appointment were, in my opinion, by far the worst. 

You will be wanting to do something. There are small things you can do, note down any questions you have,  no matter how trivial or apparently unconnected; you can edit them later.  When MRI/Ct scans are being done don't bother askingvthe staff what they think, they won't know whay you're being scanned for.  Try to do the things you would normally do, not easy in a time when nothing is normal.   More than anything keep optimistic.   Since surgery I've been to some incredible places, including Antarctica.   I've seen & experienced some wonderful things including boiling alive in the Estadio Metropolitano with one of my sons watching our beloved Liverpool win the European cup and best of all clutching a door frame the day after 'tidy up surgery' to make sure I didn't move much when Chelsea scored the penalty that secured LFC their first Premiership title.  Good times will return.

YouTube two things:

1.  The marvellous, marvellous Barcelona night at Anfield when Liverpool proved ANYTHING is possible and Mo Salah's iconic 'Never  give up,' tshirt 

2.  Brian Henderson hugging Jordan in Madrid,   he had had a really rough time with throat cancer, but that night he never thought about it, he only knew the joy of watching his lad lift the greatest prize in football. 

I'm sure life will get easier than it is at present,  if there's anything you want to ask 'go 'ed' as we say in Liverpool,  I'm not much use but my wife's a Dr and speaks more sense. 

YNWA 

Mike 

Thank you your supportive messages, it means alot to have the support from this forum.

gonnahavemestomafun - husband is trying to be as active or mobile as much as he can, he is an active person,  running and very much into health and fitness and healthy eating, hence his diagnosis has come to us as such a big shock. We went for a long walk today with the dog, it was lovely, at times I felt sad and scared, but equally blessed to be walking alongside with my best friend and soul mate. 

Stwhitm - yes, the Internet has been frightening, we have agreed not to access anywhere other than reputable uk sites like Macmillian.

I shall take note of everyone's advice,and appreciate all of them.

Btw Hubby is also a footie fan, he also supports a red team, unfortunately not the same as yours:) 

In the car waiting for hubby for his PET scan. I was fine until towards the last hour I could see he was struggling, he was weak, has a headache, he hadn't eaten since last night and he's a man who needs his breakfast and typicaly enjoys his good. Trying to hold back the tears as seeing him in pain and discomfort breaks my heart. I know in future this will be a many occurrence. 

So hard to watch Yoda1314

Hope he is safely home and getting a bit of rest and spoiling.

take care ,

Court 

So after hubby's pet scan and because he hadn't eaten for over 18hours, he found it difficult to eat food afterwatds, even though he was hungry, unsure if it was the bloating and he was in pain. It seemed like his body was put on a reset button again. Pain killers didn't work much and he struggled to get a good night sleep. 

Last few days I've been trying to get his appetite back up, he's making it to 3 meals again. Been trying to do more research about whats available out there when we meet the oncologist next Tuesday.  Still very nervous and scared.

We've been going for walks, re watching friends episodes and films,spending time together, and remembering to move onto the slow lane for now. His diagnosis has certainly made us slow down and be humble at everything and everyone around us. 

Also extremely grateful and touched by the warm welcome of many on here and the bowel cancer uk forum. Thank you x

Not sure how to process this, but relieved at same time. Consultant called this morning to say my husbands pet scan shows the cancer is in localised area, his abdomen and hasn't spread. 

• Next move is how well he responds to chemotherapy.  Fingers crossed