Not knowing

Dear AJ85,

I think maybe your diagnosis has made you a little depressed. No one greets such news with balloons and firecrackers but perhaps I can encourage you to look at it slightly differently.

• You are the same person you were before you found out  except you had something wrong with you and now you are taking steps to put it right
• BCG treatment is effective and, as you have discovered, quite bearable
• Your medical team are taking good care of you and you are not alone - there are many people on here who have taken/are taking BCG and who are happily getting on with life, just as you can. They'll be along soon
• I think maybe you should talk to your GP if your low mood does not improve soon and see if he could prescribe something

My cancer led me via the chemo/ bladder removal  route and I never felt depressed since I realised treatment was my only chance. I can't say I have enjoyed every moment of it but I can say I have met some wonderful people along the way and learnt a lot about myself, others and this disease. In particular, I and my family have pulled together and I know we are closer than ever as a result. It is nearly 3 years since I was diagnosed and just over 2 since my operation. So far I have been cancer-free.

I hope you will feel better before long and regain your more positive view of life.

All the best,

Latestart

Hi aj85 and welcome to the forum 

The good thing Is you are receiving treatment. It can be a long slog. We all have good days and bad days when we think different things. Remember you are not alone. The members of this forum have a vast experience in pretty much dealing with anything. Feel free to ask anything or talk about anything. Iam only a member myself about 5 months and iam sure someone will be along soon with more experience than me to help with what you've posted 

Best wishes 

Mark

That's brilliant latestart, that's a real good reply.

Mark

Hi Aj85, welcome to this friendly forum. I hope you find it helpful to you. I am wondering who you have shared your fears with . If you want to chat to someone the macmillan helpline would be a good starting place to talk and take advice on how you are feeling . As Latestart says maybe your GP . 

I too am on bcg , was diagnosed 2 years ago now and it is a bit of an emotional rollercoaster at times. Having the treatment, being tested to see if its working and there are no recurrences, is quite intense. I found the 1st year quite full on with all the hospital appointments etc, I didnt feel in control of my life. always waiting for the next result. I am doing well with no recurrence so far. It all feels less intense now . I hope you stay in touch with the forum. There are a few of us on bcg , we all prop each other up when the bad days come. Take care, sending you love to give you strength

Thank you Mark

Hi AJ85,

Welcome to this friendly forum.

I can't really add any additional advice from whatever has already been said.

However I think most of us have had these feelings at some point. It's very difficult to think of anything else in the beginning for sure.

I'm also on BCG, had my last biopsy in Jan 2025 which came back clear (2 years clear now).I'm finding the BCG harder as it goes on, but understand that is the norm. Although some people sail through without any issues.

Please do reach out if you need help.

Wishing you all the best.

Trevor 

Hi Aj85, Welcome to this friendly and supportive group. I was diagnosed in February 2025 and I'm also on BCG therapy. I've had 12 instillations and I've stayed cancer free since I had my TURBT. As others have said the first year is very hard and I've also felt like the cancer was the only thing I could think about and focus on. I contacted Macmillan on the website and they organised some counselling sessions for me which really helped. Talking about my diagnosis to family and friends and to the wonderful folk on this forum has been an absolute lifeline. Before this I had never been ill or in hospital (I do work in the NHS) and found it very difficult being a patient.

Stay on the forum and share your worries and successes, we are here to support you on this rollercoaster of a journey.

Sending you and your family hugs and positivity ️ 

Love Ade xx