Feedback meeting tomorrow

Hi JoyceF welcome to the forum . Its ok to be scared and little wonder, we all fear the uncertainty of this awful disease. You will be better tomorrow when you know exactly what it is you are dealing with. I know that sounds bizarre that you will feel better, but you will, as the uncertainty is then gone. I dont imagine you will sleep much tonight but try, as much as you can, to stay clam by breathing deeply. We are here for you as you need us to be and will be thinking about you tomorrow. Best Wishes.   

Thank you so much Gail. Your post made me cry but also made me feel better too xxx

Hi JoyceF .Have you got anyone to go with you? Two pair of ears always helps as they can overload you with info that you forget as soon as you walk out the door. Take notes if you can and ask to be copied in to the doctor notes as it makes things easier to understand. Once you know what you are dealing with, you then have something positive to focus on. Best wishes.

Thank you rily. Yes my son and my daughter are coming with me. I hate it for them but I know it’s what they want. Xx

Hi Joyce, that feeling of fear is just awful isn't it. we cant think straight, forget the questions and answers. listen to every single word or facial  expression to see if we can pre guess what they will say. Tonight you might find sleep difficult . Tomorrow you will feel calmer about things because you will have the answers and a plan , all the ‘what ifs ‘ will calm down and quieten for a while. we are here for you and can steady you through this tough bit. you will get through it joyce, we have all been where you are , and know the scared feeling. stay in touch , you are among friends. what time is your face to face ?

Thank you Angela. The appointment is 13.45. It is strangely reassuring to have your support and good wishes. Xx

• Love your ‘steady you through ‘ comment xx

Hi Joyce,

Good luck in your meeting. It's good you'll have people with you.

Have you heard of active listening? It's useful when you are facing this sort of meeting. Try and really hear what they are saying to you. Confirm what you think they said by repeating each point back to them. (That calms you and gives you time to think). Make sure you slow things down, don't jump in until they finish what they are saying. Take notes.

Ask what they mean, if you aren't clear. Ask what they think needs to be done. Think about that. Any alternatives? Why do they think that? If they offer alternatives ask what the implications are for each. Which would they choose, why? 

Do you need to go ahead quickly or would you like to think first? It's your body, your choice. I often ask 'if I were your mother what would you advise?' It's a bit unfair but usually makes them think a bit and see one as a person not just 'the patient'.

Hope some of this is useful. And if you do get upset, don't worry, this sort of meeting is a big deal and they'll be used to it. Take your time, gather yourself and carry on asking.

All the best,

Latestart x

The lovely folk on here steadied me through Joyce, they have been a tower of strength and kindness . We will be here for you too xx

Hi Joyce,I’m glad you will have the support of your son and daughter.I’ll be thinking of you.Love Jane xx