Fear fear and more fear

Take a deep breath, it does all sound very scary when they go through it all. in detail with all the risks etc With females, it is standard procedure to remove womb etc as so close to bladder. Occasionally they can leave those eg for a young person with tumour well away from that area. Yes, they are recommending the best treatment for you, but with BC they cannot ever guarantee a cure, only percentages of likelihood. Undoubtedly it is major surgery with potential for complications, but your age is a factor in your favour. Also, it is very different from surgery after trauma, or when already debilitated by illness. 

Hopefully a year from now, you will be getting on with your life, confident that you have done all you can. None of us knows what is round the next corner to disrupt our lives. Try to keep as healthy as possible and plan some treats to distract yourself. Best wishes.

All I see at the end of this is death! I'm trying so hard to be positive but I've got a sick anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach. I'm at the point where I don't know what to think, every time I think I've got my head around it all, along comes a surgeon to knock me off my perch. 

Can I be rude & ask if you had this radical bladder removal too? And if so, was it really bad? I'm so scared x

Hi Rachel,It is a lot to take in.I think all you can do is take it one step at a time.If you have got time before the surgery try to get as fit as possible.My tumour didn’t respond to chemo or radio either so I only had the surgery.Before the surgery I kept busy doing tasks that I knew I wouldn’t be able to do after the op.I found this helpful as I didn’t have as much time to panic.I was scared but everyone here helped so much to reassure me and offer advice.We are all here to help and support you through.Love Jane xx

My family are trying to seem positive towards me, but I can't tell their worried & that makes me worry more! Ita like a vicious cycle & I can't seem to find a way out of this mess x

Hi Rachel

Can I ask what stage and grade you are please? Also you will find a way out of this mess...you already are by asking , thinking , reacting and being on here. You are already keeping on  and finding a way through. Thoughts are with you.

Pienmash

Stage 3 grade 2 they think. Its not spread anywhere else than my bladder muscles, its weather its in my lymph nodes. My heads all over the place & I can't think straight x

Hi Rachel

They will always give you the worst case scenario. Doesn’t mean it will happen! I had my bladder removed, my rectum, my womb, my vagina, cervix, ovaries, fallopian tubes and sundry other bits and pieces. I was 56 when I had my surgery, and that was more than 2 years ago now.

Focus on the end result would be my advice. that’s what I did.

Sarah xx

But you can't but help but to think of the negative things can you? 

Do you mind me asking, is the surgery bad in terms of waking up in pain & unmanageable? To be honest, there are a lot of different scenarios running through my mind, all negative sadly:( I'm a very anxious person as it goes & want all the answers now, but to be fair that's not how it works is it? X

Hi Rach. I can see how worried you are facing a daunting operation, but take note of all the successful outcomes here of the same op. I'm sure you will be fine. Get your running shoes on, or get on your bike. Anything to distract the negative thoughts. It does help to talk to someone in person. Give the helpline a call on 0808 808 0000 and you will find them very helpful. Best wishes.

I have spina bifida, so no running shoes for me  but there are other things/hobbies that I can do. Thank the lord I have my crochet or I'd go mad for sure!

I am so greatful for the people on here who have supported me through this. You all are amazing people & people to be admired x