Hey everyone - I am new and don't really know how to say hi

Hi Pineapple16 and welcome to the group, although sorry to hear about your father. Don't apologise for being here. This is what we do. Really good to know you are here to support your father. Firstly, bladder cancer can be treated successfully, especially if caught early. Age does not really come in to it. We have had members in their 80s and over who have overcome this one way or another. General fitness is more important than age. Although classed as aggressive, it is more important how far advanced it is. If confined to the bladder, there are various treatments. Mine was advanced and aggressive 8 years ago and I'm still here. Please feel free to ask any questions or just talk. Best wishes.

Thank you, Rily. Firstly, I am sorry that you have had to go through this and secondly thank you for, not only your message but your final sentence as it does lift my spirits. He has muscle invasive bladder cancer, he had a scan three weeks ago and it appeared not to have spread, but they said they have to do yet another one before he starts chemo. They said it is aggressive and therefore may have spread, even in that short time. I just scared. It only really me and my parents so I need to be there for both of them. I will add you to my thoughts. 

Pineapple16

Hi Pineapple16. Sorry for the delayed response but I had to nip out for a pint ( that is meant to give your father a bit of hope). He will probably have more scans and possibly a follow up TURBT to check.  This is all normal and gives them a bigger picture of what they are dealing with. Whatever treatment he goes ahead with will probably make him tired. Some of us like to try to put on a brave face and keep things to ourselves. Others like a bit of pampering. You just need to play it by ear and see which way it goes. Best wishes.

Hi Pineapple16,Welcome to this friendly supportive group.I hope you find it helpful.Love and best wishes.Jane

Hi Pinaepple16 and may I add my welcome to everyone else's. My husband is the one in our house with bc and he is 77. True his cancer has not invaded the muscle though I think it was close, very widespread right round his bladder. but 3 years on he is still enjoying life and keeping busy. My main message to you is to take care of the carer/s. Otherwise you will not be best placed to give the support you want to give. So do try looking up your local county Carers' Association. Titles and services vary across the country but are all worth tapping into. Your Mum may get support as well as you. I have found our old one and since moving house new one both very beneficial in different ways. Previously it was when we both were caring for my Mum with Parkinson's and now me my husband with bc and issues related to Asperger's. Hope you soon link up with Carers'; you are legally entitled to a free assessment which is usually done by them, to work out the situation and your needs and what is on offer to help.

There's also a carers group on Macmillan

Best , Denby

Thank you, Denby! I will certainly look into the Carers' Association. Guess we have to take this one step at a time, he has his scan on Sunday to determine whether it has spread so we will have a better idea of the outlook after that. I appreciate your message and wish you and your husband the best!

Thank you, Jane, for your kind words. Really new to not only the form of sensitive communication but cancer in general! I guess we too much about the bad stories and not enough about the good. I am hoping to hear positive stories relative to muscle-invasive bladder cancer. So far every time we have an appointment it is always blunt, bad news and I need some good... Anyway, thank you again for your message and I wish you well

I hope the scan goes well.It is good that your father has your support.My sister and partner supported me and knowing they were there to listen meant so much.We did still laugh together though and my main worries I shared with this group.We are here for you and your family.Love Jane x