New and befuddled

Hello ChessieP and welcome to the group. Sorry to hear your husband's diagnosis, but  there are many of us here who have been through this with successful treatment. I assume your husband has had some treatment so far as he has a diagnosis. We understand what any cancer diagnosis affects people, both the person involved and also family and friends. Has he been told of the next step? You will find plenty of support here as your husband progresses through treatment. Feel free to ask any questions or just talk. Best wishes.

Yes. He's had first chemo treatment but his second one was delayed from Friday to Monday as he had a UTI which gave him dementia style symptoms. I didn't realise this was a thing and we thought it was his medication. He's on the mend now but low in spirits, energy and everything else. To see someone go from walking miles a day to being in bed all day in pain in a matter of a few months is distressing. After chemo cycles his options are bladder removal or radiotherapy. 

Hope things will soon be better for you both xx we are going along nicely then something like this comes along and shakes us up xx you'll both get through this and things will look brighter for you both and you can have some happy times xx uti infections can cause so many problems my mother had lived in her home for over 60 years but due to uti didst believe it was her home and didn't want to live there anymore it was scary .. antibiotic soon put things right xx sending you best of luck for this unwanted journey we have been forced to join xx love Tina xx

Hi ChessieP,Welcome to the group.I do feel for your husband being in pain is so miserable.I was also a T3 muscle invasive and had bladder removal almost 2 years ago.The cystectomy got rid of the bladder pain and I’m leading a full life.I do hope something can be done to help your husband.We are all here for you both.Love and best wishes Jane

Hi ChessieP. I add my sympathy for the situation your husband and you are in to all the other lovely people on here. Just a word to you from me. [like you it is my husband who has the bc]. Did you know that as a carer you have a legal entitlement to a carer's assessment? It is worth getting imho as it opens the door to all sorts of helpful things. What those are partly depends on where you live. But at least you should get a benefits check [not everything is means tested either]. Maybe support groups [online or F2F], maybe money for things to help you like getting a massage or treat of some sort. Search Carers' Association for the county you live in. All this is designed to enable you to do the best job of supporting your husband with the minimum damage to your own health, both physical and mental. Our county also offers a Carer's Card. You fill in a form and they send back a card to carry in your purse. It has a phone number and a unique reference number on it. Should you have the misfortune to trip and knock yourself out, anybody who comes to your aid can see that you are a carer. They call the number, give the reference, and the county call centre access the form, and send suitable help for your husband. I find this little card gives peace of mind. And I even get discount in some shops with it!

Best wishes, Denby