Not a good Diagnosis

Hi Mavis321, that sounds like a rotten meeting with the surgeon. I can imagine it left you feeling hopeless, however there are many treatments for bladder cancer including for those where the cancer cannot be cured. I have read many accounts from folk getting immunotherapy, chemo and radiotherapy, where treatment has enabled them to continue to live an enjoyable life. Sounds like you might benefit from some professional support to deal with feelings that you don’t want to carry on. Do you have a CNS you could phone to share your anxieties? We all protect our families, so they probably aren’t the ones we can confide our darkest moments with. Although by no means as life threatening as your diagnosis, I am currently hobbling around on a duff hip. I am struggling to cope with my normal daily chores, and suffering considerable pain. There have been moments over the past few weeks when I have also wondered if I wanted to carry on, but the sorrow I would cause my daughter and grand daughter if I acted on these feelings makes me realise I must just struggle on, old crock or not So I make myself a cuppa and a slice of cake, or possibly if  it’s Friday evening I pour a big glass of wine and I try to live for the moment. For example this morning as I was feeding my hens and wincing as I bent, a cheeky Robin fledgling swooped down and plonked itself in the middle of the food bowl. Had to laugh at it’s youthful bravado. Look for the magic moments that make life worth living, I reckon you’ll find them. Sending you love at a tough time H x

Yes I will try anything thats offered 

Hello Mavis

I am so sorry to see that you have had a diagnosis of bladder cancer. I understand that it must be disappointing to hear that it may not be possible to have surgery. It is such a shock to hear the diagnosis. I found the shock stage lasted a few days and I got through it by talking with family and friends. And please do post on here as much as you need to. There is also a support line number at the bottom of this if you feel chatting to someone will help. They are lovely on there.

Although your surgeon does not think that surgery can be done due to you hernia, it is still reassuring that they are referring you to discuss other treatment. I had chemo and radiotherapy last year and although it wasn't easy , it is surprising what you can deal with when there is no choice. I see you already are being referred and the chemo and radiotherapy consultants are experts in their fields and will be able to discuss with you all the possible treatments. Mine were both fantastic and I went in armed with a long list of questions that we went through one at a time. It may be an idea to start thinking about what you want to ask them and write down a list. My mind tends to go blank otherwise I find. 

I would stay away from trying to google to get information as a lot of it out there is out of date and not accurate. I will pop some Macmillan links below and it is up to you whether you would like to have a look. I am thinking that maybe it will help to have a bit more information before you see the consultant next to talk about treatments. Besides the chemo and radiotherapy, there are other treatments that may be available to you and what normally happens is the doctors get together and have a Multidisciplinary team meeting to talk about the best way forward and then they meet with you to see what your feelings are.

Bladder cancer | Macmillan Cancer Support

Treatment for bladder cancer | Macmillan Cancer Support

We are not medically trained on here but we do have an Ask the Expert section where you can post questions to the nurses. They would normally get back to you within 3 days. Alternatively you can speak to them on the support line.

Ask a Nurse - Macmillan Online Community

I hope this helps a bit. If there is anything else that would help please do ask

Jane

So sorry you've had such an awful diagnosis, but I'm sure there will be someone on here that can relate to it and hopefully offer you some hope. Stay strong x

Thankyou so much Jane..  Ive promised my daughter that I will try anything that is offered to me.  Im trying to stay as positive as possible   Just cant wait to get the first appointment now, as I know its fast growing x

Thankyou x

Thankyou so much H.  Yes I know what you mean, I promised my daughter that I would do everything possible, and the thoughts only last a little while, as you said I know first hand how things would affect them, having lost a son to a mental illness  at 26, and it was devistating.  We must plod on  Lovley story of the Robin, I love all animals x

Be sure to read the 'How are we all? thread as folk have put some lovely pics and animal and bird stories on which will cheer you up.

Best, Denby

Yes, I understand. I hope that your appointment will come through really quickly. The waiting is not great and gives you too much time to worry. But once you know more about what will be happening next it gives you something more to focus your energy on. That's what I found. My cancer was high grade so I do understand how worrying it is.

There is support on here for your daughter as well if she feels she needs it. I will pop a link in case you think it may help. She is also very welcome to use the support line as well. 

(+) Family and friends forum - Macmillan Online Community

Jane

Hi Mavis321,I’m so sorry that your news was not good but hopefully the treatment will help.Love Jane x