How to answer the "how are you" question.

"As well as can be expected"  If they want to know more, you stay in control  by choosing what you tell them. If they don't it's their lookout.

Denby

We learned at a very early age not to ask aunt Annie how she was because she’d tell you in detail and at length about her many and varied medical problems.  When asked how I am I have the choice to discuss as much or as little as I choose.

My consultant & CNS nurse ask - but perhaps they really want to know! I've noticed my GP asks 'What can I do for you today'. I think it all depends who is asking & how well you know them, what they know of your condition & how long you expect the conversation to last. Also, is it said in a casual greeting way or as a genuine enquiry? Your response could be a quick 'not too bad today'' or 'not too good today' or similar & see if you get encouragement to say more. 

Thank you Denby. I think I'd rather them not ask. Saying ok, just to make conversation seems so crass, when really I'm devastated.

Yes I think I'd answer a doctor or nurse the best I can. My gp & also my local Mac CAB contact ask "what do you need" or "how can I help", which is excellent. My local universal credit work coach asking how I am, after sending threats for a week about an expiring sick note, I can do without. 

I feel that how are you is just a conversation filler. Many people don't mean it.

I agree Coojee, it’s just like good afternoon, not requiring a response. A friend used to say ‘ apart from some health issues ‘   Which leaves you wondering what the issues are. Best to say nothing.

That's so true Coojee.  I used to say that I'd just had an op, bu only because I couldn't stop talking for long due to needing a weee.  But I felt sure that some people didn't believe me & wondered why I was still here if I had cancer.  I  just tell them I'm fine now.

WallyB, I used to know 2 elderly sister that used to actually show me their prescriptions, as well as give me their medical  history.  They'd also say that they'd welcome death ....  Although  they looked quite well, think it was just a bit of doom & gloom with them.  

I think some elderly people almost compete with their ailments, as to who is being the biggest martyr. Or to compare & contrast symptoms etc. They forget that other people aren't in the same competition.