I just can't be bothered.

Hi . Good to know you are doing ok despite the way you are feeling. I know how the fatigue makes you feel, but I can sense some positivity in your post wishing to get going again. Following my treatment, and although I was fortunate to have a clear, I was in the doldrums for months. I know that "Couldn't be bothered" feeling. One day I picked a corner of wallpaper in the kitchen. This led to ripping it all off and the next thing, I had a crowbar and sledgehammer out and ripped out and refitted the kitchen. It took weeks. I am not suggesting you do something as drastic, but the message is to take that first step. Once you have a project or something to focus on, the momentum keeps you going. I wish you well. 

Whinge away - I think acknowledging those feelings is, in a way, the first step. Even sitting down & drawing up a list of what you could do/might like to do/what is feasible is a start. Do you want to take trips, or might you be just as content with something closer to home? There's no need to do anything very significant, but try to fill the time with activities you enjoy, or give you satisfaction. Best wishes.

• Hi,I know the feeling and fatigue has a huge part to play in lack of motivation.Just over 3 months after surgery I had a sudden surge of energy and decided to paint our tiny upstairs bathroom.I underestimated how tiring this would be and a small area above the bath was not finished.Now my energy levels are better I’m caring for my mother and have no opportunity to complete the painting.I will get it done when there is a spare hour.It’s easy to get overwhelmed if there is too much that needs doing.I’ve been writing much shorter to do lists as a friend said stick to 3 things you can achieve and that works better.I enjoy art and went back to drawing during convalescence.Love and best wishes.Jane x

Hi Aussie Tcc, good to hear the immunotherapy has worked to delay the disease, every new day is very welcome as you say. You've already made some great decisions picking up your pension and accessing your superannuation  giving you freedom to choose how to spend this precious time. I think Teaswill's suggestion is spot on, make a list of possibles. Totally hypothetically.....and as wild or weird as you fancy. Some may involve travel, some may be about indulging yourself at home. Anything you have dreamed about, that would make your heart sing. Once you commit your ideas to paper I reckon you will know what is calling to you.

For example at a low point after my cancer reoccured I bought myself a puppy when in truth I thought I was too old and unfit to take it on. But I made arrangements for what would happen to him if I wasn't around or couldn't cope and dived in. I've not regretted it for a second and he has brought me joy every day (alongside chewing my carpet hey who cares? )

And definitely winge away, if we cant moan about having cancer I'm not sure what anyone can moan about? 

After my diagnosis, I milked the sick leave to the max thanks to my fab-u-lous GP which was just as well since the chemo poleaxed me. My eejit line manager was furious and tried to have me put on capability - oh how we laughed when he was reminded about the Equalities Act! After that, I took early retirement and my, did that p### him off.

While lying in my hospital bed in week 4 of my 5 week stay, I bought a river cruiser. The nursing staff were very amused when Mrs CB turned up and you could hear her eyes rolling in the back of her head!  The restoration of the boat was my way back to becoming post op normal and I continue to enjoy the maintenance.

I think the key is to decide what you enjoy doing most then go do it and from that, other ideas will flow. 

CB

You mention travel, how about buying a small camper van and just pottering about. Often these things happen by accident, I lost my wife to bladder cancer and then I was diagnosed. I am reasonably ok but just took up learning to make jewellery with silver etc. I have no idea why but I find it absorbing and that's all that matters.

Best wishes and hope you find you get up and go.

Do you ever take volunteer crews??? happy memories of crewing outboard/sail cruiser on the less populous Broads several school hols about 25 years ago with elderly pal who couldn't manage her on his own any more. He reckoned us the best quartermasters he'd had, which was the only contribution he asked. Daughters then 4 on and 8 on got several wonderful hols we could never have afforded then, a taste of sailing, sight of Marsh Harrier, fun rowing dinghy around etc. Must be the lockdown, retiring into good memories here.

Denby

Yes, I do. I've spent time on the Broads, quite delightful. My boat is on the Thames in Oxfordshire - that said, she is now out of the water for winter maintenance, though that is delayed until Our Dear Leader lets us out again.

We've had a lot of good narrowboat holidays on various UK canals. Mr T is thinking of buying a river cruiser (not one that needs renovating!) that's near enough to home for day trips. 

Me looking cool on the Broads circa 1970. Happy days. Best wishes.