Cystectomy and stoma

Hi Sue. I can't help with the recovery time after a RC. I'm sure someone will be along with advice. I should imagine you would need some help at home. Wishing all goes well with your op. Best wishes.

Hi Sue,I had a cystectomy with stoma 9 mths ago and am doing well.It is a big operation and I found the recovery period painfully slow at times.About 6/7 weeks ago I felt I had turned a corner and had far more energy.I resumed caring for my disabled mother a month ago.I feel ok apart from fatigue.Realistically I think you will need some help when you first come home.You are not allowed to lift anything heavier than a kettle for the first few weeks.My sister and a relative helped out for the first few days after the surgery.I spent the pre op days cleaning and doing heavier chores that I knew wouldn’t be possible after the op.That took my mind off the impending surgery.I haven’t had any problems adjusting to life with a stoma and am back to gardening and heavier chores.You are welcome to send me a private message if you want to know more.I felt relatively ok after 3 mths but much better after about 7 mths.Love and best wishes.Jane x

Hello Sue

It took me six months to turn the corner and feel like approaching normal again.

Unless your husband is incapacitated in some way, he'll need a crash course in domestic engineering pdq. If he is, then suggest you batch cook and freeze dishes to last at least a month.

You can ignore cleaning the house, nobody will visit you wearing white golves carrying a torch, dust is irrelevant during this time.

He will need to look after you, feed you, ensure you keep hydrated.

CB 

Hello Crustybladder

I think in that case although we have been married 49 years tomorrow I had better trade him in for a newer model.

Thanks for your reply I didn't realise it took that long to feel back to your normal self.

Sue

Hello Jane

Thank you so much for your reply.  I am worried because it's my fault Peter can't cook or clean, I never showed him how.  

I know my friend would come and help if it weren't for this blasted Covid19, I think that is what makes the whole thing seem worse somehow, the isolation from family, especially now as I have to have a Covid test and have been told to completely isolate for 14 days.

Never mind my Dad had the same op 30 years ago and he survived so I am sure as long as I close my eyes to the dust we will get by.

Sue

Hi Rily

As ever thank you and quite frankly I am glad you can't help because that means the devil has stayed away.

Sue

Mr T is willing, but in my eyes doesn't meet my standards of household care! When I was approaching RC, I wrote out 2 sides of A4 with detailed instructions - most of which he ignored. He shrank my best linen trousers in the drier, managed to get small sheet on a double bed, gave me weak coffee because I'd said green tea the day before was too strong. But he was there, would heat things up, do the essentials.

I was able to do my personal care & probably started picking up minor household chores (one per day) a few weeks post op. After the first week home I could cope with getting something out of fridge or freezer to microwave, or make a ho drink, so Mr T could go to work a couple of days & I had some peace & quiet...

So worth getting stock in of small snacks eg I had cheese scones in the freezer, packs of cracker & biscuits in the cupboard, tins (custard) that could be split into small portions. Easy to microwave fish in sauce, that sort of thing. I only wanted small meals & nibbled frequently in between. Sandwiches, toast & bowls of cereal aren't that hard to make (though I do realise even those can be produced badly) & will keep you both going!

Perhaps you have some friend who might provide the occasional meal? Otherwise it's really just laundry & keeping toilet/ bathroom tolerably hygienic that need doing.

PS If that sounds as though i was back to normal in a few weeks, that was just the start. Even several weeks later I had to pace myself - do a task, have a little rest or snack (or both) & spread chores out through the week. Started going to leisure activities at 6 weeks, a phased return to work 3 months post op, but it was around 6  months before doing everything as before & eight months before I shed end of the day fatigue. It's a gradual process.

Hi Teasswill

Gosh that sounds like a marathon.  Luckily we are both retired, that's probably why Peter has so much trouble contemplating housework and cooking, at 76 years old he has never had to do it!!

I know we will get there, it will take time.  He is willing bless him but useless where domesticity is concerned. 

Sue

Hi, I have had a taste of this trouble recently as my ankle has given way. I found the only way to reduce kitchen failure was put a chair in there so I could sit and instruct one small step of cooking at a time -Mr D is almost 76. Fortunately he really loves prepping veg and fruit normally, it's just the cooking. So if you can fit a chair in or just outside the kitchen door it might help.

I also find a grabber very helpful, get one now if you haven't already, or maybe more than one so you can leave one in one place and another eg in the bathroom or bedroom. You can do all sorts with imagination eg hold a cloth in it to wipe things like inside the bath or spills on the floor, without bending/standing/stretching.

Best wishes, 

Denby