1st time here and struggling

Hi Rozybellll,Welcome to the group.I’m so sorry to hear about husband.Do you have any support ? 
Love Jane x

Dear Rozybelll I’m sad to hear of your husbands diagnosis. Thirty years ago My dear wife and I were in a similar position. I’ve attached a small portion of her diary in the hope that you find it helpful, John 

• Not really. It's difficult to reach out to people. I just feel like I am spiraling out of control. And I can feel everything mounting up and this grief  is consuming me. I feel sick to the pit of mytomach. And the pain in my heart is unbearable. I am absolutely  devastated.  And I don't  know where to turn

Thank you x

Do you feel able to phone the Macmillan support line ? They helped me when I was grief stricken.

Yes I will give them a try. My husband is doing amazing and so strong. We talked and he explained when he sees me so upset it hurts him to see me like that. So now I feel I have to go out in my car, park up and do my crying there . I don't  want to bring him down while he is feeling positive.  People keep saying oh he will be ok.....no he won't  I looked up the hospital that we have to go to, on there it tells you about his cancer and life expectancy.  If they CAN operate, it's only to give him more time. .....  I just can't  cope. Xxx thank you all for your help. Xxx

I’m sure you will find them helpful and post on here anytime too.Love Jane xx

Thank you xx