From my consultant appt Friday and the news my cancer is stage T3 and not T2 and that if the cancer has touched my urethra then it's terminal.
I'm just in a zombie state I guess , I have to have another cyscosopy under general so surgeon can have a look and make his final decision. Its like being on death row.
I've never wanted a massive invasive life threatening surgery more in my life , because if he give me that , it's not terminal.
I'm so angry at my gps who time and time again fobbed me off with antibiotics, and not even a correct course. Asked for water samples that they spilled and lost , left me for days without meds until I contacted them in agony , had to almost beg for a referral to urology , and then when I have my cyscosopy in 2018 the notes actually say they will monitor plaques in my bladder that are slightly inflamed, send me off with my catheters and never follow up, never see or call me again . I was the one who said to the gp things have changed there are toilet bowls full of blood !! I need urology and they put a reluctant referral through which took 3 months for anyone to respond to and now here we are....waiting for the next call from another hospital who are either gonna cut me to bits or read me my last rights, sorry to off load on you guys , I know you have all been through it...all I can do now is hope and wait x
As others have said so sorry you are going through this and you have the support and thoughts of us all here while navigating the next options.
Can't really add anything more helpful but plenty on here to give advice or a person to chat too.
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My name is Simon. But Si is also fine, in fact you can call me anything you like it’s only a name after all 
Much love and hope to everyone past future and present.
I also hate autocorrect and hope people can make sense out of my posts when it changes half the words I type.
