I thought I was on top of stage 1/pta grade 3 ....diagnosed circa 2 years ago. BCG n mito did not wok, opted for 3 monthly bladder inspections. All going reasonably well and I have started to really enjoy life for the first time ever. Sold house In Sept and been travelling Europe since. Recovered from a terrible break down , beat alcohol addiction and the travelling has transformed me physically , mentally and spiritually. Had inspection yesterday and surgeon has just informed me -2 hours- that she took away a 5 ccm growth which had grown into bladder from a ball of a tumour below bladder and by side of rectum. They can't get to it , they believe radiation won't be able to reach it sufficiently and that the best hope is bladder removal. I won't be able to cope with the physical/mental side of removal and fear I will fall back into drinking/heavy depression and die an ignoble death. Currently worn out , state of shock, panic. L just can't see me having removal and if the radiation does not/can't work then I will die. I am effing scared. If any one else has been in a similar position in terms of the location of the growth pushing into bladder please let me know. I am distraught. Thanks, Pienmash
Hi Pienmash . It must be disappointing to find out it has come back. Early days yet and you will still be in shock. You have come so far and gone through a lot in the last couple of years, so do not give up now. Bladder removal is not the end of the world and many here can vouch for that. I am sure others will be along to share experiences of how life can carry on as normal without a bladder. I had radiation and didn't find it too bad. Could I also suggest you give the free Mac support line a ring on 0808 808 0000 (8-8pm). You may find it helpful to talk to someone in person. Keep talking to us. Best wishes.
