Hi, my name is Sally. I am 52, a mum and a nana. I have the misfortune of a rare terminal cancer diagnosis. I was sent to A&E on the 17th Oct and diagnosed on the 06/11 with bile duct cancer which has spread to the peritoneum and gallbladder. I found out this week the tumours I have are not the right mutation for any clinical trials and I am to carry on with palliative chemotherapy and immunotherapy, which the side effects are awful. I am beside myself with guilt more than anything. I feel responsible and I feel I've let my family down. I feel weak and have always been a strong minded individual. Cancer is stealing my life little by little every day slowly but surely and it's showing! I have awful constipation and the pain from that is worse than any cancer pain. I can't take morphine/codeine because of the problem I have with my bowels. The tumours are very close to the bowel so maybe causing a blockage, I don't know. I am desperately trying to get in touch with a counsellor but this Christmas period has been very long. I am not sleeping nearly enough even though I'm on some heavy sleep aids. I find it impossible to sleep during the day. Would anyone know how I would go about getting help from a counsellor or professional in this field? Many thanks, Sally
