Just been diagnosed

Hello.  I have just been diagnosed with terminal bile duct cancer.  They say it has spread to several other organs.  I have agreed to have chemotherapy because they say that without it I only have about 5 months left.  I need more than that to get my affairs in order.  This is all such a shock because I have absolutely no symptoms.  It was only found out through something on a routine blood test.  The list of possible side effects from the chemotherapy is terrifying.  I am 75 years old and live alone. All my family live a long way away or overseas, but I do have a wonderful group of friends who all say that they will be here for whatever I need.  I am not much good with technology and am not on any social media platforms.  I also have not got a posh mobile phone, only one that just does calls and texts.  So that's where I am today.

Thank you.

  • Hi and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.

    It must have been such a shock discovering you had terminal cancer but it's great to read that you have a wonderful group of friends supporting you.

    As you know, the online community is divided up into different support groups and I hope you don't mind me suggesting that you join the living with incurable cancer group which is a great place to talk to others who, like you, have an incurable diagnosis.

    If this is something that you'd like to do clicking on the link I've created will take you straight there where you can then join and post in the same way as you did here. You can also join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.

    Sending (((hugs)))

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  • Hi am soo sorry for your diagnosis my mum has it and its just horrible xx

  • Hello Alone with this

    my husband had all you describe ahead of you,  Happily he tolerated the chemo very well and apart from long waits and a day a week out of his life for a bit it was very easy - none of the potential side effects kicked in at all.  It was well worth doing as it did extend his life. It could be the same for you reference side effects and it will definately extend your life.  The chemo team were very careful with him and the regular blood analysis was most impressive ensuring exactly the right amounts of chemicals etc.

    yes, it can take a while to get your affairs in order but you sound the kind who can prioritise and perhaps delegate.

    your friends sound very supportive.  Let them support you.  It might be an idea to share what is going on with your family so you have a strategy in place for when the time comes.

    at the moment your shock of diagnosis is what is in your head.  As chemo progresses and the months pass your thoughts will settle and your natural organising abilities come to the for and normal life resume to some extent.

    you will be assigned a specialist nurse and a dedicated out of hours phone number.  You won’t need technology - just a phone line.  You will see your consultant after every chemo cycle.  If there is a concern you will see a doctor in the chemo lounge. After 2 or maybe 3 cycles there will be a pause and scans taken to assess results.  

    macmillan are available to you throughout - I recommend you contact them asap so they can help you all the way.  You might be lucky to have a Maggies nearby.  Macmillan should have a desk/ info stand at the hospital and your chemo lounge will know about Maggies.

    i am so sorry that you are going through this.  So very unlucky.  I hope my reply has been of help. Please do write in again if you have any concerns and I will look out for your message and perhaps be able to help.

    thinking of you.

    janey