“No more chemo” home to try and make mum as comfortable as possible

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Hey, I haven’t really been active here, just browsing but getting support from you all already…

so mum was diagnose with LBD cancer in the beginning of December 2020, it was stage 4 incurable as spread to a lymph node in the chest… after doing chemo for a bit (results were it kept is at bay) .. mums been in and out of hospital many times with infections, stent changed or altered 4 times…

she then decided on no more treatment as she was suffering… she has now come home to live out the rest of her days…

they haven’t told us any update about her cancer since then?? etc, I don’t know how long we have her for a week a month 2 months? 

she’s gone from being my mum who would watch quiz shows together and laugh our heads off at comedy shows, she loved playing with my little boy, to now sleeping most of the day and night. Awake to take paid meds, use the commode and eat a very small meal … She doesn’t watch tv ever. She’s very sensitive to sound for some reason too … 

I am scared but I want my mum to believe I’m strong and can deal with all this. 

we have had support from an occupational therapist and my mums cancer nurse from the hospital has said she was going to get in contact with Macmillan and the hospice for added support. As I know she will get worse as I’m seeing it day by day …

  • Hi  and welcome to the online community

    I'm very sorry to read that your mum has advanced cancer and it sounds like it must be a very difficult time for you both.

    I hope you don't mind me suggesting that you also join and post in the supporting someone with incurable cancer group as it's a safe and supportive place to discuss your emotions as well as practical issues about palliative care. If this is something that you'd like to do clicking on the link I've created will take you straight there.

    Sending virtual ((hugs))

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     "Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"

  • Hello Ang.D, so sorry for your mum and for you too.  I'm in the same situation, mum diagnosed 6 weeks ago and cannot tolerate treatment, and the inevitable will happen.  I am struggling to make any sense of things at present, I do hope you have people around you who can help you get through this xxx take care xxx

  • So very sorry to hear about your mum. I was diagnosed similarly, and about the same time, but so far my cancer is responding to chemotherapy, your mum's story makes me realise how lucky I am. 

    Do keep in touch with your mum's cancer nurse if you can, and hopefully McMillan will come through with more support... more hospice-type care at home perhaps. I do hope you can get the answers you want, and the support that your mum needs and that you need too. 

    Much love 

    KJ xx