Mum has started treatment, we're in week 2!

Hi Robyn Welcome to the forum although I'm sorry about your mums diagnosis. A cancer diagnosis is as much a mental thing ( it messes with your head ) as it is physical so it's understandable your mum is how she is. She may find therapy helps now or after. You could ask at the hospital or lots of cancer charitys offer it. Hold on to the fact that this treatment as a general rule is highly successful. 

Make sure she is keeping her skin well moisturised, use water wipes after going to the toilet. If she is in any pain make sure she let's her team know so they can give her something. Side affects build over the course but we all react and cope differently. 

Sending hugs to you and your mum.xxx

Hi Robyn ,

Another warm welcome to the MacMillan Online Community although I’m so sorry to hear of your mums diagnosis & that she’s struggling with her treatment so early on.

When I began my treatment I found a treatment buddy through this forum, we began treatment on the same day & cheered each other on throughout but the lady I buddied up with, like your mum, had to have a blood transfusion very early on, she said she felt so much better afterwards, hopefully this will also be the case for your mum. You’ll hopefully find she’s in a better frame of mind if she’s feeling better physically. 

I would advise having a conversation with her treating team about how she’s feeling, regarding the toilet issues there’s medication that can help with this, loperamide is regularly prescribed although sometimes it can be a fine balance between diarrhoea & constipation also as Bungle has mentioned appropriate pain relief is key & I was always advised to try & stay ahead of pain so take the pain relief regularly not just when you’re in pain. Regarding her low mood if you have a Maggies centre nearby they are fabulous places, they offer all manner of things from a drop in coffee & chat service to benefits advice, counselling services & wellness courses & of course we have wonderful people to speak with on the MacMillan helpline. 

Bungle has touched on some practical advice too but if you’d like to ask anything else please do, most of us here have been through this treatment & have a wealth of experience between us. 

Also be mindful to take care of yourself throughout this, it’s natural instinct to want to care for your mum, I would be exactly the same but you matter too.

Sending you both a healing hug.

Nicola 

Hello Robyn 

Oh your poor Mum.  She is really going through it at the moment, the shock of a cancer diagnosis, the fear and loo mishaps plus all these treatments, her head must be in a spin.  And leaving the family home must have been a wrench.  And as has already been mentioned, those nearest and dearest to the one diagnosed go through it too.

It is heartwarming to hear as a family you are all pulling together to help her through this, and you really are doing all the right things.  During treatment I wore Tena pants as I had constant diarrhoea, I never actually needed them at the hospital but did once at home, she may feel a bit more secure.  I also had stick-on incontinence sheets on the bed, the last thing I felt like doing was changing sheets in the middle of the night, in fact I don't think I could have.

There is no doubt that this course of treatment is tough but mercifully quite short and does have a very high success rate.  I do hope she regains some of her spirit, it must really help with such a supportive family around.

Big hug to you all

Irene xx 

Hello Robyn

As others have posted sorry to hear about your mums diagnosis. It all comes as a bit of a shock My Mum was diagnosed very recently and begins her treatment in August. I was very fortunate to receive some lovely advice on this forum as to moving forward and being there for mum as she is fiercely independent. But the tips they offered have been very valuable . It’s nice that people are generous with their time and great to know I can pop on here if I need to as her treatment progresses. 

Hi Robyn, so sorry to hear about your mum. You are most definitely in the right place for advice and caring words. I am now 5 weeks post treatment , not going to sugar coat, it has been tough!  All the support I have received on this forum has really kept me going and pulled me up. Do not be afraid to ask any questions, when you have something going on and you ask about it , it’s just so reassuring, you are not alone. Hope your mum copes as best she can and don’t forget yourself too. 
Big hugs x