Hello , I am new here . As in subject line my mum has recently been diagnosed with anal cancer and is now waiting for radio/chemotherapy to begin. At the oncology appointment this is to be the 5.5 week radiotherapy at hospital Mon-Fri with Sat/Sun off and a chemo tablet bar the 1st appointment where it is to be given intravenously . My question is how is the best to support her ? She is 78 very active and healthy apart from this bombshell diagnosis, however she does live alone. She is fiercely independent , I have asked her to move in with me whilst treatment is being received, to which I received a firm No !!!
Are there any tips/pointers I can be given on how I can support her ? I do work but will manage to work round her appointments so I can drive her . Can anyone advise if I cannot make 1 of the days , would a hospital car be available, obviously I do not mind paying for this service. I find all the information mind boggling . So any information would be greatly appreciated.
From her appointment I gather the tumour is 5.5 cm contained but lymph nodes look slightly suspect. The diagnosis reads T3 N1a MO grade 3 sqaumous cell carcinoma of anal canal p16 , strongly positive. This does not mean a lot to me and even though we did ask questions with the consultant there was quite a lot of information to take it in . Sorry I am waffling. So basically any advice will be useful .
Thank You
Hi Mac1710 ,
Welcome to our little corner of the MacMillan Online Community although I’m really sorry to hear of your mums recent diagnosis.
As has already been touched on it sounds as though your mum is getting the standard treatment for anal cancer, most members here have had the same.
I live alone with my daughter who was about to turn 16 at the time I received my diagnosis. My first day of treatment was the day my daughter took her first GCSE exam, timing eh? My lovely dad came to stay with us for the duration of my treatment as some of the stories I’d read about this treatment I imagined I’d be incapacitated from day 1 where the reality is that during weeks 2 & 3 I was renovating a dining room set out in the garden in the lovely sunny weather we were having at the time & it wasn’t really until my final treatment that I began to feel the strain, I was fatigued throughout but a nap when I got back from my daily appointment & early nights made it easier to cope with.
You've had some great pointers on how you can support your mum, you probably know her best so just keep an eye on her if she’s insistent on staying home. If you see her beginning to struggle at all just make the offer of her moving in for the short term again & see what she says. In the meantime help her stock up on some of her favourite foods, things that don’t take much preparation are ideal for days when she can’t be bothered to cook. I batch cooked some meals for us & popped them in the freezer.
I told my dad I was fine once I’d finished my treatment & he went back home, the next 11 days were a bit rough but I was better off on my own I think, I moved from bed to bath to sofa to bath & back to bed again for a few days then I began to feel a little better & once I began healing it happened pretty quickly.
It would be worth giving your mums treating hospital a call to enquire how much notice would be needed for hospital transport. Like Squeak. I was lucky enough to have access to Daft as a Brush, a local charity that offers transport to those undergoing cancer treatment & also renal patients.
Please feel free to ask questions if you think we may be able to help. We’re here to support you both however we can.
Nicola
