Mum told she has cancer

Hi Pintsizeprincess I'm sorry about your mums diagnosis. My time frame was as follows, went to GP Feb 2024 was misdiagnosed, finally diagnosed July 2024 and started treatment end of September 2024. Obviously I'm not a doctor but the PET scans quite often show other areas of concern which may be something but they may not, mine showed two areas one of which was another tumour, both turned out to be nothing to worry about. I had to have a smear also.There will be a lot going on behind the scenes as such, mtd meetings etc deciding on the best plan of action for your mum. These early stages can be so hard when you are in limbo land as such but once you get your mums treatment plan and dates you will feel like you have a bit more control of the situation. The standard treatment for anal cancer is chemoradiation which in my case was 5 days of chemo 24/7 via a pump attached to me via a picc line along with 28 sessions of radiotherapy daily (got the weekends off) and then another 5 days of chemo at the end. Although most people on here seem to have oral chemo regime but I think that's different hospitals preference. The treatment can be tough but it is doable, i found it not as bad as i had expected.As a rule the treatment is very successful. Don't know if this is of any help or not.

Everyone on here is here for you and your mum however you need they've all either been through it and out the otherside or going through it. Use this space to ask questions or just unload whatever you need.

Sending hugs. Xx

Hello Pintsizeprincess 

I am so sorry to hear about your Mum's diagnosis and the worry that you are all going through right now.  What I can say is that she does seem to have had the various scans needed to build up a picture of what exactly is going on, (except for the smear) but I am really concerned that she hasn't had a face-to-face appointment to update her on the plans going forward in her treatment.  It must be so disconcerting, not to mention dismissive to have all this news on the phone.

It may be a good cancer department but I think their lack of face-to-face contact is woeful.  If the nurse is the first point of contact then it would be a good thing for your Mum to ring and ask when she is going to see a doctor and when she is going to have the smear test.  And if she gets nowhere, consider going to PALS (The Patient Advice and Liaison Service) which offers free and confidential advice to patients.

She (and the wider family) really don't need this added stress on top of a cancer diagnosis.  I really do understand and we have all felt this fear and I am hoping that things start moving forward in her treatment very soon.

Please update us if you can.

Big hug to you and your Mum

Irene xx

Thank you so much for your kind words and advice, you hope you will never have to here the C word and when you do your brain starts going into overdrive, minutes turn into hours hours turn into days and you just don’t feel like you’re getting anywhere, and just think the worse. 

I hope you’re well, and really appreciate your advice thank you so much xx 

Hi Irene, thanks so much for your message.

yes I was gobsmacked when my mum was given such devastating news via a telephone call, by a bowel nurse as they call themselves, and when my mum was asked if she had any questions, and asked when they thought she would be able to start some sort of treatment she was told, we can’t tell you that, there are lots of people with cancer, she wasn’t the only one. 

Nothing like kicking you when you are down, and needless to say my mum doesn’t want to speak to them anymore as it’s upset her too much. 

I have put an email into PALS as I feel my mum hasn’t been receiving the best care or information right now, but reading through lots of other posts I’m hoping once my mum finally gets an appointment with the oncology team once all other tests have finally been done, a treatment plan can start and things will move more quickly. 

Thanks for your kind words and advice xx