Anal cancer - finished treatment 1 year ago, sex still too painful

Hi Marione,

Yes, I finished my treatment four years ago and although I tried using the dilators it was very painful. I bought some softer silicone ones which are a bit better, and I had a couple of sessions with a pelvic physiotherapist. I still get them out and have a try but I seem to have a lot of scar tissue and bleed quite a lot.

If it's important to you, I would go back to square one and start trying to use the dilators again with lots of lube.

I know what you mean about husbands; mine didn't really engage either; In the end I just found it embarrassing and I began to feel like I was talking about my vagina to the bloke in the corner shop. We have given up and I assume my husband 'entertains himself' in other ways.

I would say try to stick with it, the loss of intimacy is worse than the loss of sex so try to make sure you keep on with some physical contact even if it's just hugs and kisses. Maybe you could explain, and ask him for help, like it was a both-of-you issue. I know we are all different and I have not dealt with this well myself, but given my time again I would perhaps try some sex toys or something you could use together; just try not to let things go too far or it's hard to get back.

Good luck