Hello I am new here. I was very reluctant to join this or even access any form of support due to cancer. Im not sure why - accessing support should be second nature to me as I suffer from mental health issues including PTSD. I can only put it down to termination not to let my cancer pathway rule me. How wrong was I!! I was diagnosed with stage 2 Anna cancer in November 22. It’s been a rollercoaster since with several surgeries, egg harvesting ect. Given my age my case was discussed nationally and there was a lot of towing and throwing before a treatment plan was put into place. It was agreed treatment would be done locally rather than the pelvis. I eventually started radio and chemo. 5.5 weeks of going to treatment head strong and with a smile, I was thrilled to complete treatment a few weeks ago which saw me cruel into bed for 5 days straight, not eating and in absolute agony with every bowel motion. Things are looking brighter now my skin is healing lovely, toilet trips are less traumatic and although still getting tired easily I’m pottering about the house a little. My main issue is now that I’m struggling to deal with my anxiety. I’m so scared that treatment hasn’t worked although I have no evidence it hasn’t yet I have no evidence it has. I’m also terrified that cancer will return with the 5 years higher chance stats. I also stupidly read online about chances of it returning at stage two which put the fear of god in me more. I know nobody can tell me, treatment has worked, or it will never return. The thoughts start as something small which spiral out of control. Just writing this post alone has raised more questions more what if’s. I was wondering if there was anyone out there who can give me some tips on how they manage these anxieties and fears - it’s ruling my life.
Hi Mrs.b ,
First of all I’d like to welcome you to the Macmillan online community although I’m very sorry to hear of your diagnosis.
A cancer diagnosis is a real head wobble without added prior mental health & PTSD so a huge well done for getting through this far.
I think we’ve all had the thoughts that you’re having right now, the worries of recurrence etc. We all manage these thoughts differently, for me I tried to busy myself with something that was kind of all consuming so I didn’t have time to dwell on things.
Have you accessed any counselling for your anxieties etc., prior to your cancer diagnosis? There are cancer specific counsellors out there that specialise in helping people cope with a cancer diagnosis & beyond. Maybe you could speak with your specialist nurse if you’ve been assigned one or your oncologist & hopefully they might be able to point you in the right direction of a specialist counsellor, failing that if you think that speaking with someone might be helpful you could always give the Macmillan helpline a ring & they may know of some services available.
Please feel free to keep posting here, we strive to support each other through this & I definitely found it helped immensely when I no longer felt alone.
Nicola
You’re doing everything right & it’s so frustrating with something like specialist counselling that there’s such a long wait, you’re going through cancer now therefore you need the counselling now!!
Do a quick search to see if you have a Maggies Centre within acceptable travelling distance to you, they deal with all different services that are related to cancer from benefit advice, wellness classes, drop-in sessions including counselling sessions.
I have a family member that has suffered with chronic anxiety & understand how debilitating this can be, as you’ll know it’s not a one size fits all but I definitely think someone with knowledge of how a cancer diagnosis can affect your anxiety & mental health would be the most beneficial to you right now.
My family member has spoken in the past about some online recordings they use when they find it difficult to relax, sleep etc., but I can’t remember off hand what it’s called, I’ll try to find out & let you know.
Nicola
I’m so pleased you went to your local Maggies Mrs.b , I agree try & pop in whenever you feel the need, make use of the services available there. The mental exhaustion that surrounds a cancer diagnosis is enormous & I for one had zero concentration. You will get through this, use the support that’s available to you including Maggies & us. There’s also always the Macmillan Helpline available if you feel the need to speak to someone about your personal situation.
Nicola
