Hi, newly diagnosed and very scared

Hi Willow63 ,

I'm so sorry to hear of you recent diagnosis & all of us here can completely relate to the feelings you’re experiencing right now.

I didn’t live alone as such, my youngest daughter was only 16 though, going through GCSE’s & preparing for 6th form to do A levels, so mine was the only wage coming into the house so I understand your financial concerns. I think had I have been working from home & it was a job I could have fitted around my daily hospital visits I may have been able to work possibly to around week 4 of treatment but that’s only my experience & not everyone’s experience throughout treatment is the same.

I voiced my concerns on a visit to my GP & she advised me to visit a benefits adviser at a local cancer charity close to me & to cut a long story short they helped me apply for PIP, not a road I particularly wanted to go down but I had to financially support myself & my daughter somehow, the claim was successful & I was awarded a 2 year claim which definitely took the pressure off financially. This meant I could concentrate on my health & not worry about trying to work throughout my treatment & recovery. If there’s nothing such as the charity I used in your area do you have a Maggies Centre close by? I know they also have benefits advisers that would hopefully help you make a claim. It’s worth mentioning PIP is non-means tested so regardless of sick-pay, savings etc., you can still make a claim. 

I hope that was of some help. 

Nicola 

Hello Willow

Welcome to the forum and I am so sorry to hear of your diagnosis.  The first few days are invariably turmoil, but I think most of us felt a lot more in control once we had a treatment plan in place.  We all have varying reactions to the chemo/radiotherapy, some sailed through with relatively minor side effects.  Others (I was one) have quite severe side effects and personally I couldn't have worked from about midway through the treatment, mainly because of the overwhelming fatigue as the body tries to recover.  I also had a very sore bottom and wouldn't have been able to sit at a desk.

I am pleased Nicola has pointed you in the right direction to get financial help, hopefully if you are successful in this it will be one less thing to worry about.  It would be as well to stock up on very easy food that you can heat up without any effort, and soups and meals in a drink such as Ensure Plus in case you lose your appetite.  It is all about making life as easy as as possible whilst undergoing treatment.  I hope you have some friends or family not too far away that you can call on if needed.  

We all have lots of tips and coping strategies that we can share on here, so please come back and let us know the next stage of your treatment or if you have any questions at all.  This group may not be there in the flesh with you but we can help in lots of other ways.

Thinking of you.

Irene xx

Hi Willow, I'm so sorry to hear that you've got this stupid cancer. Good for you for finding your way to this forum so quickly! I hope it's as useful to you as it's been to me.

I see the marvelous Nicola has already given you great practical advice as to how to cope as a single income household. Thank heavens England is more civilized than the US in this matter. 

It's NEVER stupid to hope for the best. I sure did. That I'd be one of the lucky ones with few or no side effects and would sail through. I think hope is far more useful than assuming the worst.

My hopes were not borne out and I took several months off (my income is negligible, my husband is the primary breadwinner so it didn't affect us much). But I still think that keeping a positive outlook whenever you can is so much better for you than fear and pessimism, which are still probably going to smack all of us in the face during the worst bits. 

This time between diagnosis and starting treatment is tough, because you've got all the worries coming at you and it can be overwhelming. Try to be very gentle with yourself as you move forward. Do be proactive about getting as much as you can in order- line up friends to drive you to and from treatment when it starts to get intense, get meals frozen or lined up for delivery, someone to walk your dog or water your plants or anything like that. But rest when can, use whatever calming, relaxing, meditative methods you know work well for you, talk to your work about what they can do to help you through, line up some books you've been dying to read or shows you haven't had time to watch or dig out your old knitting project. Line up practical things, but also things that will comfort you and make you happy.

We'll talk you through this. You can do it.

Hugs

Suz

Hi Suz, thank you so much for the suggestions and advice, my mind is  currently such a whirl that I really am not thinking logically or practically.  The waiting for treatment dates is very hard as the mind is imagining all the wrong things that a delay can cause. I am continuing with work currently and am happy to say that my employer has been amazing with their response to the news. My mood is very erratic but I think that will be the norm for a while x

Hi Irene, thanks for your kind and helpful reply.  I am so glad I found this group.  The support and advice means such a lot while my mind is so busy. Thankfully friends and family are being super with the offer of help with lifts etc. I will be making sure to plan for quick and simple meals. I am dreading treatment but at the same time would welcome it tomorrow. I hope I get some dates soon. Thank you x

Hi Nicola, thanks for your reply and super advice. My worries are split between finances and fear, it's not a happy mindset.  It's good to know that there are support options out there if I need to explore them. Like you said I really want to concentrate on getting well and don't want the distraction of financial worry.  I have noted your suggestions x thank you x

I completely understand what you mean Willow63 the devastation that a cancer diagnosis leaves in its wake is enough to cope with without worrying about finances whilst facing treatment etc., explore the practical options that have been suggested & know that we’re here to offer you support wherever we can. Any questions you have please just ask. 

Nicola