I'm newly diagnosed

Hello cranford can I say welcome and glad you found this group where you will find lots of tips and information from members who know exactly how you are feeling right now. I am 19 months post treatment and when I was first diagnosed I was petrified and hadn’t discovered this group then but when I did I found out what to expect during my treatment from some lovely members who put my mind at rest. I was T2 N0 and had surgery before treatment of an abnormal area and then six weeks of chemo radiotherapy. Any questions you want to ask just fire away. Glad to hear you have a good supportive family

Hello Cranford

I sorry you have to be here on this forum, but glad that you found us.  The diagnosis is really shocking isn't it?  I was in a total state of disbelief, I kept on thinking they had made a mistake.  Then my disbelief turned to terror and I couldn't even talk to anyone from the hospital, my husband had to take over.  Thankfully that initial awful time is long gone.  For me, once I had a meeting with the oncologist and the treatment plan was in place, I felt so much better.

I am pleased your family will be around to help, the treatment can be (for some) a bit brutal but it is a short time in the grand scheme of things, and there are so many hints on the forum of cheap essentials to help you through this time.  I won't tell you everything right now as your head must be spinning, but please come back when you have had your appointment with the expert, or at any time you need to talk about this, we have all been there.

Irene xx

Thank you for replies. I find the hardest thing is what to say when people say are you alright? I feel like I'm coping with their dismay at my news and trying to alleviate how they feel and don't want to add how I feel!!

Hi Cranford ,

Welcome to the Macmillan online community although I’m really sorry to learn of your diagnosis. 

The way you’re feeling perfectly describes the way I felt after I’d been told I had cancer too, I felt sick, afraid for what was to come & as you’ve said disconnected, it almost felt at times that I was watching the whole thing happen to someone else! I was so grateful that things moved really quickly following my diagnosis as it gave me little time to dwell on things. 

This forum helped me so much & I received lots of support & advice from those that had been through treatment etc., before me. We’ve all been where you are now & are all at different stages of treatment/recovery so please if you have any questions please just ask. 

I hope your appointment comes through quickly & you get a treatment plan in place soon. 

Nicola 

We often try and protect loved ones and friends, especially in the early days, but saying exactly how you feel will probably help you more.  It is such an intense feeling, the guilt at making people worry.  I was daft enough to even consider not telling my daughters but I have since learned that it is far better and LESS worrying for them when they are 'in the loop'.

I agree with Irene, it’s much easier to be honest even if it means saying to family members at the moment you are still processing the shock and not ready to say much until you know more about what’s happening. My husband was my rock and he had lost his first wife through cancer and I felt really guilty putting him through it again and upsetting him but he needed to know how I felt to support me. I told my daughters straight away what was happening as they wanted to be kept in the loop. As said once you get a date to start treatment you will feel more in control. 

Hi again Cranford , I agree with the fact that wherever possible be honest about how you’re coping, or not coping, as then friends & family will be able to support you as best they can. I think it’s quite common for the person diagnosed to feel guilty about putting the worry onto loved ones, this is definitely how I felt. I kept my diagnosis pretty quiet apart from half a dozen or so close friends & close family & it was only when I was well into my recovery & felt I was coping better that I was more open about it.

Nicola

Boy, do I know exactly how that feels! But if there's ever a time to be a bit self-centered, it's now. Trust them to manage their emotions, your job is to keep yourself calm and prepared. And to let yourself dissolve when you must, as that's also part of the process for many of us. 

Staying honest with our loved ones, even if that means occasionally saying, 'I'm not really okay at the moment, thanks for asking. But I'm pretty sure I will be. I could use a hug!' or even 'I'm doing well overall, but sometimes it overwhelms me and I need to be on my own for a bit, so be patient with me if I'm not very communicative.' Or whatever your emotions dicate at the moment. 

It's how we get through this. Day by day, moment by moment.

And we do! Very few of us die from this. We push on through the treatment and recovery, and go on about our lives. That means you too!

I'm so glad you found this forum this early in your journey. It will be such a help.

Hugs

Suz

Hi

i was diagnosed 3 weeks ago with anal cancer. Just over a week ago I had ct & mri scans. I am awaiting results but feel so anxious at the moment.

Hi Seventy two ,

Welcome to the Macmillan online community although I’m really sorry to hear of your recent diagnosis.

We all completely understand the stress & anxiety that you’re going through right now as we’ve all been in exactly that same position, it’s absolutely draining isn’t it? Hopefully your scan results will be assessed at a MDT (multi disciplinary team) meeting very soon & a treatment plan will be put into place. 

Please if you have any questions, no matter how personal they may seem, just ask, we’re an open minded bunch that are more than willing to share our experiences as well as having a pretty good arsenal of hints & tips on getting through diagnosis, treatment & recovery. If you’d like to read a little more of my journey just click on my username & it’s all there. 

I hope you hear back regarding your scans very soon. 

Nicola