Why me..

Bossy, I can totally understand why you are so worried and stressed, you have had such a lot to deal with in the past few years and it must seem never-ending.  You have my utmost sympathy and I don't think there is anyone amongst us who would blame you for wondering what has hit you.  It may be difficult to draw positives from this but it sounds as if you hadn't been having the scans this may never have been picked up but it was and your team seem to have acted quickly. 

Have you considered counselling?  I think 1in1500 had specialist counselling after her treatment and found it helped enormously.  I have tagged her as she may be able to further advise you on this.  I don't know where you are, but there are also branches of Maggie's attached to various hospitals that have staff who are specially trained cancer professionals who can advise or just give you a listening ear.

When I was diagnosed my GP prescribed anti-depressants which I am still on now, and they were a huge help to me in coping with the shock and stress.  Not everyone needs them, but I certainly did and they took the edge off the utter despair I felt at the time.  I don't think I could have functioned without them.

Please don't struggle on your own; there are people out there who can help.  Please come back and let us know how you are.

Irene xx

I remember having this reality really thunk home to me when I was in the worst part of recovery- that this might NOT actually be the worst, but it was perfectly possible for me to develop all manner of other miseries, including other cancers, and that I wasn't guaranteed to just have this huge hurdle to face.

I'm so sorry that you're living it. 

I dunno who said we shouldn't complain. Whining in general isn't helpful, but when you've genuinely been punched in the face repeatedly, how do you NOT get a little blue?

I haven't sought treatment for my anxieties yet, but I haven't ruled it out. I've developed some of my own coping mechanisms for when my brain goes off the map. When they stop working, that'll be when I'll look for a professional to help me find some better ones. Are you in England? Does your health department cover that?

I doubt there is much of 'why'. With anal cancer we have a pretty good idea, but so many cancers are completely random. Might be more helpful to just focus on coping with the fears. For me, that's always been by doing some hard physical labor, which is less available to me now, depending on how the butt is behaving. 

I hope you're able to find some relief, Bpssy. If nothing else, just having this forum helps me!

Hugs

Suz

Hi Bossy  and welcome to the group although I’m so sorry that you find yourself here. Two separate diagnoses of cancer must indeed leave you wondering why this has happened to you in particular. As Irene75359  has said, I was referred by my Oncologist to an Oncological Counsellor and it really did help. Unfortunately I had always been predisposed to depression even before my diagnosis but my GP who was aware of my history was very supportive. I did go back on anti-depressants and am now in a position to start to reduce them. There’s options such as relaxation techniques, mindfulness, talking therapies etc that run alongside medication. There are a lot of options open to you. I would urge you to speak to your treating team and GP and identify together what would best help you. Bev x