Hello

Hi Su2695,

I'm sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis. The waiting is so stressful. I'm a survivor of stage 3 anal cancer. I believe the treatment for anal cancer is a bit different than rectal. I underwent radiation and oral chemo. Due to a recurrence, I recently had  APR surgery where they removed my rectum and now I have a permanent colostomy. The surgery is extensive and is a long recovery, but it's all manageable and I'm cancer free once more.

Cancer is a lot for a family. I'm happy to hear your husband has you! That said, you will need help too. If family and friends offer to help, say "YES!" Having help with meals, running errands, housework, and whatever else you need is a good start. Don't feel guilty, you need to reserve your strength to help your husband get through his treatment. Now is the time to lean into your support team. I also suggest, if your husband is open to it, to find some good professionals to talk to. I have and continue to work with a therapist, social worker, and spiritual care advisor. Having that support team helps me to manage the stress and it's nice to talk to someone other than my husband about all my emotions. 

I know this seems all so scary, but cancer is treatable these days even at stage 3. I remember thinking that there is no way I can survive this, but it is possible. It does take a lot of hope and strength, which is hard work for me. One of the lovely members in our community suggested the book - "There's no place like Hope" by Vickie Girard. It's a little blue book with lots of inspiring and thoughtful reflections on the cancer journey. You may find it helpful. 

Let us know if you any specific questions, we are here for you! Keeping your family in my thoughts!

Hopie

Hi Su2695, 

Firstly I’d like to welcome you to the Macmillan online community although I’m so sorry to hear of your husband’s diagnosis. It’s a very difficult time for you both. 

We’re more than happy for you to post here on the anal cancer group but if your husbands diagnosis is one of rectal cancer you may find more relevant information on the Bowel (colon and rectal) cancer forum you may find people that have been through or are going through the same kind of treatment that you husband is facing as the treatment regimes for rectal & anal cancer are quite different. 

I completely understand that your focus will be on your husband & helping support him through this awful time but please don’t forget about yourself in all this too, your well-being is really important so that you can continue supporting your husband when he most needs it. We have another group on the online community specifically for the family & friends of someone that has received a cancer diagnosis Family and friends - Discussion Forum if you want to join either of these other groups just click on the links I’ve posted & join the group the way you did here. 

I hope the appointment on Wednesday is a productive one & that a treatment plan is put in place to begin soon. 

Nicola 

Hello Su2695

I see Nicola has replied about the difference in the cancers (although all horrible and unwelcome) and I hope that whatever type your husband has that his treatment starts very soon, and that if you need a different forum that you will get lots of help.

My fingers crossed too.

Irene xx