Hi I've been diagnosed with cancer but I have my husband who has Alzheimer's and I'm struggling to look after him and myself. He's shouting that I only look after myself and ignore him. I've tried to explain to him but he keeps forgetting don't know which way to turn

  • Hi and welcome to the group. Your situation sounds very stressful.  Do you have any help for your husband at all? If not, you could approach your GP for advice and also contact your local authority who can assess his care needs and put a package of support in place. Have you been diagnosed with anal cancer? Have you yet received a treatment plan?  Please let us know so we can give you further advice.  You can always call the Macmillan Support Services for emotional support. Most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week,  it's free to call on 0808 808 00 00  have a look by Clicking here     Bev x

  • Hi ,

    I’d like to second ’s welcome to the Macmillan online community but I’m sorry you’ve had the need to find us. 

    I would agree that you need to let your GP know how much you’re struggling at the moment too even if this is only via telephone consultation. If your treatment is pending or you’ve already started you’re going to need some support in caring for your husband definitely. The treatment can cause some serious fatigue amongst other side effects & you’re just not going to have the stamina to care for yourself & someone else that depends on you heavily. Bev has already provided you will the Macmillan helpline where you can speak to someone over the phone, give them a call as they may have access to other services that could help your situation. 


  • I get no help what so ever love been ringing my doctor's for over a week to make an appointment but you have to ring at 8am and hope they answer, I've ring to explain what's going on but they won't help just tell me to ring at 8am 

    Not to sure how to contact my local authorities 

    I've been going for all sorts of test scans and 3 biopsies and now it's confirmed as cancer I see the doctors on the 17. June to find out what is next 

    He's screaming at me now because I'm on the phone  and not making his tea,,but he's just eaten his tea.

    Thanks for listening

  • I'm so sorry that you are having to cope with being diagnosed and looking after someone that needs so much attention when you are trying to manage all the things that are spiralling around in your head. I'm assuming that you are British and living in the UK and so therefore are entitled to a lot of help with your husband and I advise you to take as much help as you can because your health and wellbeing is just as important as his. The first port of call is asking or rather telling your Doctor that you need help... it's very important that you say NEED and that you cannot manage on your own. Your request cannot be ignored. At this moment I understand without doubt that this is a hard task to ask of yourself but at the end of the day the sooner you are better the better you are to look after your husband. You're going through a lot and you are entitled to think about yourself, you are a very important person and keep thinking that. SO.. Monday phone the Doctors. Just pick up the phone...take a deep breath and don't take no for an answer. Let us know how you get on xxx Marie 

  • Hi this really is a lot for you to cope with. Your local authority (Council) will be the Council to whom you pay your council tax. have a look on your council tax bill. Then type into an internet search engine eg Google, the name of the Council then 'adult social care contact telephone number'. That will bring up details of who you need to contact to get support with your husband.  Your local council will have all sorts of care services available to support his needs. As   has said you can also call the doctors who should also point you in the right direction and who may have additional services available. I hope the 17th June goes as well as possible, hopefully they will have details of your treatment plan.   Bev 

  • Hi Dekota, have you got a local Alzheimer’s branch near you who you could ring for advice. Get them on your side as you will need all the support you can find. When my mother was suffering from dementia they were a real source of information on where to get help. I also hope you get the help you need from your GP.

  • The hardest part at the moment is getting passed the receptionist at the doctors 

    I'll have a look and see if I can find my local Alzheimer's branch