Feeling I should be ok

Hi Clarhedge 

Im coming up 10 months post and for the most part physically I'm ok but I have achey hips which need stretching and mobility, toilet habits aren't always normal, the skin that was irritated during treatment can still be sensitive if I don't keep it well moisturised, I get tired occasionally. My oncologist told me it would take at least a year to get back to normal or a new normal. I know what you mean about other people I think they just don't get it unless they've been there. You are not a fraud, I think it sounds like you are doing well. Sending hugs. Xx

Hello Clarhedge

Far from not explaining it very well you have articulated exactly how some people feel six months down the line from when treatment ended.  I definitely have a new 'normal' and my hips ache a lot, I also have arthritis which I didn't have before.  And the fatigue, yes and the best thing to combat that?  Give in to it - if you need extra sleep, have it, if you need to put your feet up, do it, and let your family know that you definitely aren't back to your old self.  You may have become used to putting on a brave face and they really do think that things are as they were before, but they may be mortified to realise that there are days when you really struggle.  I am full of admiration that you are back at work, too.  Six months down the line was still a struggle for me and I don't think I could have faced work.

Fortunately not everyone is affected in the same way, however, some of us are and the last thing you need is to be pretending everything is back to normal.  You have had an extremely intense taxing course of treatment and your oncologist is right, you still have symptoms (and need time to recover).

Gentle hug

Irene xx

Thank you. One of the reasons I went back to work was financial. My manager and colleagues are very understanding and are supporting me. I am lucky in that respect. 
Yes I do put a brave face on. You are right about the ‘new normal’. I don’t think I’ll ever be the old me. I need to come to terms with my new normal. Once I get my scan results, hopefully in the next couple of weeks, things will feel better x

Clarhedge, good luck with your results.  I will be thinking of you, please let us know how you get on.  Irene xx

Hi Clarhedge ,

I went back to work on a phased return 5-6 weeks after my treatment had finished but found the fatigue would hit out of the blue for quite some time after this. 

I understand too about family & friends thinking you’re ‘better’ because you’ve finished treatment & I think this can subconsciously add to our expectations of our recovery. 

Suffering with fibromyalgia as well as going through what you’ve been through these last 8-10 months must be difficult & that’s bound to have an impact on your recovery also so please be kind to yourself, we’re all individuals & will recover at different rates. Listen to your oncologists advice & test when you need to & you’ll get there. 

Nicola

You’re definitely not alone ! I certainly wasn’t prepared for the time scales. First thinking I would be off for 8 weeks then the realisation could be 3 months and eventually off work for 7 months. Don’t get me wrong I am very grateful for catching it early ( stage 1 - lumpectomy x2 and 3 weeks radiotherapy) but like you and I’m sure many others I’m finding it hard to accept my new normal and don’t want to come across as moaning to my family. My treatment ended mid May and I’ve just started back at work for 10 hrs a week over 2 days. In my head this was going to be an easy start but the reality is everytime I do something new something else has to give due to the fatigue and joint pain ( on Anastrozole). I ended up doing about 11-14 hrs the first 3 weeks but now have had to revert back to my original plan of 8 hrs one week and 10 the next and being strict on not accepting any more ( carer). 
You explained it well and I related as often feeling like a fraud. I have crash days when I don’t even get dressed and couldn’t pop to the shop but it’s hard to explain to others as I feel they might think I’m lazy ect. 
I can’t fault my treatment and care but I wish there had been more preparation in the after effects. I learn a lot of info on here and does help to know you’re not alone and assists in learning to accept the new normal but it does get frustrating as to how long before I can be me again. 

Thankyou for posting as allowed me to have a rant ! Good luck with your scans X

I am in awe of anyone who gets back to work so soon. I couldn’t even think about work at that point. The fibro didn’t really flare up during treatment but I’m sure it has added to the fatigue. 
I am having to reduce my hours at work on a permanent basis. Hopefully this will help the tiredness. x

Apologies as only just realised that I’ve commented in the wrong forum. I thought I was commenting on the breast cancer forum. It’s interesting though that your post resignated with me in regards to fatigue.
Take your time and be kind to yourself. I have had to reduce my hrs from 10 to 8 hrs per week over 2 days as was finding although I could do it I was left with less energy to do things for myself either at home or meeting up with friends so it’s about finding a balance. I’m now realising that with work being a small part of my week ( initially was doing 14 hrs)  is now giving me more time to focus on my self care. Listen to your body and give it what it needs x

I don’t think it’s the disease itself it’s the treatment causing the fatigue. We are in the same boat. I hope you are doing well. I work in a breast clinic so I see how long some of the patients are on treatment. 
I am reducing my hours so I have a bit more time for myself. It’s a balance financially though. 
take care x