Overwhelmed

TAC25

You have such a lot going on and my heart goes out to you - dealing with your own diagnosis (which I am really sorry to hear about) and also being a carer for your sister.  We all find the diagnosis bad enough without added responsibility.

But you need to step back and let others help, you need all your strength to deal with the forthcoming treatment and please bear in mind it isn't for long and the chemo/radiotherapy has a proven track record in eradicating anal cancer in most cases.

Please don't add guilt to all the other emotions that you must be going through right now; you have absolutely nothing to be guilty about, so reach out and accept every offer of help that you can - you will need it.

You sound like a wonderful caring sister and I am sure you are very much appreciated but right now you need some 'you' time to face this and deal with some of the side effects and pain that may come with treatment.  And don't be afraid to share how you are really feeling with those around you.

I will be thinking of you this week - have you read other posts?  We have lots of hints and coping strategies we can share if you haven't.

Big hug

Irene xx

Thankyou so much....I'm lucky that I do have people who can and want to help but have always found it difficult to ask for it.II have found this forum extremely informative.  I guess I'm so use to being in control and I just feel like I can't be at the moment x

Hi Tac25,

 I am so sorry that you have so much going on. The days just before starting treatment are some of the worst in terms of overwhelming feelings of fear and anxiety about what’s to come.

 I absolutely agree with Irene in that this is a time in your life when you need to accept all the help that’s offered and without any guilt whatsoever although I know that’s easier said than done. . You sound amazing in the support and care you give to your sister. Often people really want to help as it’s the practical way they can show and give support to you but I absolutely hear you in that you’re used to being in control. You sound very giving, but for the weeks ahead, hard though it is, you need to put yourself first.

Trying to put on a brave face can be exhausting so try to let those close to you know how you’re feeling. 

I really wish you well with the treatment this week xx

Hello TAC25  you have so much going on right now bless you, but it’s good that you start treatment this week the first step on the road to recovery. 
I just wanted to echo the comments of others, you are such a wonderful caring sister, to do your best job for her, you need to be fit and well. To be fit and well you need to concentrate on looking after yourself for the next few weeks, it’s not forever, it will soon pass, and then you can go back to being primary carer for your sister .

Good luck and be kind to yourself.

Thankyou so much xx

Thankyou ....xx

Hi  TAC25 

As others have already said the period before treatment starts can be quite stressful, I hope you find that once treatment has started you’re able to settle into some sort of routine and start to feel like you’re on the road to recovery. You may find that having the treatment each day gives you a feeling of being more in control and having a sense of direction and this should help ease the anxiety.

 If you read other posts you’ll see that although it’s six weeks of treatment this period really does seem to fly by for most.

 I have a son with a learning disability and I found the radiotherapy team to be extremely flexible when it came to booking appointments for a time that suites so it’s definitely worth making them aware of your personal situation and asking for appointments that fit in with your personal needs. I personally made everyone aware, i.e. Oncologist, reception staff, radiologists etc

I’m sure the best thing for the long term is to concentrate on your own treatment and recovery right now and I’m sure those close to you will be more than happy to help at this very difficult time.

Good luck with the treatment and don’t be too hard on yourself.

Monty x

Thankyou x