Sex after Chemo/Radiation

Hiya

I'm 3 month post treatment now and was given dilators by the nhs.. they where really plastic and didn't look friendly.. I bought some softer kinder silicon ones from boots the chemist and started using them 4 times a week from week 6 after treatment..the dilators are easy..

I have tried sex 3 times and it is very painful still but going to persevere..i also bought a smallish vibrator from Ann summers to see if that would help..and try and keep the romance alive....im 58..so I'm missing the sex element with my hubby.

I have my consultation with oncologist on 3rd June for my 3 month scan results so going to mention to him if it's normal to still be sore..

re the pelvic exercise no one mentioned anything to me and I am having a little leakage still so I'm trying to do 100 pelvic floor exercises each day.. just lying on the floor ..knees bent and squeezing..not sure if it works but it's worth a try..

I think we forget just how much trauma our bodies have gone through with treatment ... I hope the above has helped.. im Sure lots of the lovely people on here will give u more information 

Xx

Hi Eiram,

One of the radiographers said she would chat to me about it, and sure enough about half way through, she spent some time in her room showing me the NHS dilators and how to use them, starting off with the smallest and working up. 

After a few weeks I started using them but I did bleed a bit which she had said was common, so I stopped and and like Squeak bought some of the soft silicon ones.

To cut a long story short I didn't have much luck; I have developed vaginal stenosis from the radiotherapy so I still bleed a bit whenever I stick anything in, including the Vagifem from my GP (for vaginal dryness which I have been using for years)

My husband and I tried a few times just with vibrators and fingers but it was just uncomfortable and I found it embarrassing, even though we have been together for 40 years. I am 65. 

My advice would be either talk to someone at Macmillan, they are pretty good on this, or get yourself some dilators (they do have directions on best way to use them) and lube on line. Or a decent vibrator, and just have a play around. I am sorry now that I was not more proactive and I can't even talk about it with DH any more, it feels like discussing it with the man at the corner shop.

Good luck, xxxx

Hello Eiram

I was the same age when I finished treatment and one of the nurses gave me a set of dilators and explained how to use them.  I managed quite well, however what I didn't expect was that the skin in the area would stay very sensitive and fragile.  The first time my husband and I attempted I was in a lot of pain and we stopped.  The next time the same thing happened and off I went to the bathroom with a mirror to see what was going on.  The skin had a split between the vagina and anus, hence the pain.  This was in spite of using copious amounts of lubricant.

We had an active sex life prior to treatment but not now, I have mentioned it to various professionals and they make sympathetic noises but can't offer a solution.  I am sure not everyone has my experience, I had particularly bad open sores front to back and was under the tissue viability nurse for some weeks afterwards so it could be my new skin is particularly fragile.

Sorry I can't offer more help, I hope you get more positive replies than mine.  I hasten to add that it hasn't affected our life together at all, there is acceptance between us.  But I can completely understand why you are asking in the event that you meet someone.

Watching with interest!

Irene xx