Week One Done - reflections

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Hey 

So week one of treatment done.... thought I'd share how I got on:

  • Emotions - yep cried every day - not big outbursts but not necessarily able to hold it together - probably not helped by coming off my HRT.  Everyone has been so kind, it's such a humbling experience and that well, wells me up.  
  • Nausea - on Monday I had chemo via IV - took about an hour (not including waiting/prep time), I went for my radiotherapy and honestly I felt hungry - it has been a long morning.  I got home ate some food including a mince-pie and then had a bath. And then that's when I felt truly dreadful... Bath clearly was a bad idea and the nausea kicked-in - I started feeling dizzy too.  Luckily I took an anti-sickness and within 20 minutes I felt better...
  • Temperature - so I've got a journal where I need to complete my symptoms checker - we did my temperature on Monday and it was 35.8 we waited and re did and it was 35.3 - tested my husband - thermometer was working - darn it. Rang the helpline as per guidance and they said you have to go to A&E to get checked.  Flushed so we spent an hour there fortunate to be treated with special care. Consultant happy with temp and bloods - suggested it was probably just a reaction to the chemo. 
  • Sleep - I really struggled with sleep on day 1 - I think I fell asleep just before it was time to take my chemo on day 2. Subsequently, I'm going to bed around 9pm and asleep shortly afterwards.  On three days I've had naps.  I'm fortunate in some ways to be currently unemployed and my husband works from home renovating our home - so I've been able to rest - which I am feeling the need too. And he's doing all the chores!! 
  • Treatment - oral chemo doesn't seem to be having too negative an impact as yet - apart from the nausea.  Radiotherapy, all good for now. I've started counting down from 100 to help me stay in the calm and don't move zone - when I'm on the butt cancer kicking laser table! 
  • Random - I'm using coconut oil to moisturise after treatment every day.  I'm now scared to fart unless I'm on the loo. I've now purchased tenna knickers. Stuff I love to eat/drink makes me feel sick...  My gluten-free ginger oat biscuits are a big no and I can no longer drink peppermint/liquorice tea (my hubby reassured me that's an acquired taste at the best of times).  

And lastly - I read some advice this week on the forum that was game changer for my mindset.  I've read how brutal this treatment can and is - the wealth of symptoms that kick-in from week 2 and it was terrifying me - I started thinking, I don't want to do this (I mean who does!!)...  I hadn't really come to the terms with the fact that I have cancer. Anyway the advice I read was this:  Deal with the symptoms you have now - forget about the rest.

Total game changing advice - thank you to whoever shared those pearls of wisdom! 

Can't say I'm looking forward to week two - but I am looking forward to sticking my butt and bits in the sea, in the sunshine - and every hour that passes, I'm closer to that reality. 

Much love 

Ali xoxo

  • Oh  I totally understand....

    Honestly, I think I cried everyday last week including at that stupid Vodafone advert when the son is outside the house.... Anyway... Having cancer is emotional, having it up your butt and having to navigate what you to say to who and then dealing with their responses is emotionally exhausting.  My mum still can't get through a call with me without crying...  It's all pretty overwhelming.  

    I think only have two regrets about last week: one, not taking any anti nausea treatment before or after the chemo by cannula. Two, bottling up my emotions and trying to be strong - actually think I needed a good old cry and to say that I was scared.  

    Everyone I met in the lead-up to my treatment plan and all those I met last week, including other fighters - have been incredibly supportive and also knowledgeable.

    Try and enjoy Christmas and I'll definitely share an update next Sunday with my progress.

    Lastly, do be kind to yourself - don't suffer in silence if you get anxious - hopefully you've got someone you can talk to and be real with. 

    Take care

    Ali x

  • Hi Ali , 

    what a great post !!! ….

    we all go through different levels of emotions , pain , anxiety and fear … 

    for me , the shock at diagnosis was bearable but I needed to know more about the year ahead and how to deal with things 

    this forum helped me through the treatment , the after effects and beyond …

    I am 6 months post treatment , got the all clear last week but still many questions and emotions to share with the wonderful people who actually are going through or been through this gigantic change of life .. 

    I wish you all the best , keep positive 

    Chrissie xx