Sex after chemoradiotherapy

Hi Chrissie49 ,

No advice I’m afraid as I haven’t tried having sex yet… I’m terrified !!

Hi Chrissie, I’m 3 months post treatment and have been using the dialators, and am managing the one from largest, that last one scares me a bit lol. But we have tried to have sex a couple of times but that’s just not happening . Think it’s gonna take a lot more time and patience

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Hi Georgie , 

lovely to hear from you and reassuring it’s not just me !!! 
I assumed once I had got to the big dilator and was comfortable , all would be ok ? can’t believe my bottom still feels swollen ..

take care 

Chrissie xx

I just went for the big one a few weeks ago and found if you rotate it gently as you go in slowly , you will be fine … when it came to the real thing then I struggled !!!! … think he was more nervous than me !!! Lol 

Many thanks 

Chrissie xx

Hi Chrissie 

I’ve been waiting for someone to talk about this, I am 3 weeks post treatment now and have tried the dilators a couple of times. Bit uncomfortable at first but you get used to it. Tried the real thing a couple of times now and he literally only getting the tip or half way in which is working for us at the moment. It seems to be the perineum area that hurts more as its splits still. 
mad keep trying as I’d rather the real thing than the dilators but it’s with great patience and time. Don’t rush things, saying this I was petrified and thought I’d never be able to have sex again but it’s happening. I am 41 and didn’t want that side of things to end just yet if I can help it. 

I’ve been waiting for someone to talk about this, I am 3 weeks post treatment now and have tried the dilators a couple of times. Bit uncomfortable at first but you get used to it. Tried the real thing a couple of times now and he literally only getting the tip or half way in which is working for us at the moment. It seems to be the perineum area that hurts more as its splits still. 
We do keep trying as I’d rather the real thing than the dilators and my specialist said to try the real thing too but it’s with great patience and time. Don’t rush things, saying this I was petrified and thought I’d never be able to have sex again but it’s happening. I am 41 and didn’t want that side of things to end just yet if I can help it. 

Hi , 

you are right , it’s the perineum area that feels swollen and although I’m coping with the dilators , the real thing is struggling !!! 
im sure it’s never the end of your sex life , as comprises can be made .. I’m 74 and still enjoy intimacy with my partner …. 
What a year it’s been !!!!? 

take care 

Chrissie xx

Hello Chrissie

On the two occasions my husband and I tried to have sex, the skin split in my perineum before penetration and was really painful.  I know there is nothing that would delight him more but he has never put pressure on me since and life has got in the way somewhat and I haven't done anything about it.  I have mentioned it to a couple of doctors and one of the nurses and they are very sympathetic but can't or haven't offered any solution.  I think in this aspect I have just been very unlucky, I lost nearly all the skin back to front and the new skin is incredibly fragile and sensitive.  

But my experience may not be anything like that for you, 12 weeks is early days in terms of recovery after treatment and hopefully things will improve for with the passage of time.  I do hope so, that and overcoming your understandable fear.

Irene xx

Gosh, just read this, read my reply below - my skin split too, you are the only other person I know that this has happened to.  x

Thanks Irene … 

we have all been through the mill and so many questions about how , why, when and what ?

thank goodness for this forum where lovely people are happy to share their experiences ..

take care 

Chrissie xx