Sex after chemoradiotherapy

Chrissie

I was diagnosed at 70 and prior to radiotherapy my husband and I enjoyed an active sex life - not quite as in our youth but really enjoyable none-the-less! 

So I live in hope we will again.

Irene xx 

Hi Irene , 

we are a similar age and lived through the sexual revolution in the 60s … being intimate is important at whatever age or stage of your life .. 

have a peaceful weekend 

Chrissie xx

Hi, I have posted before about this so apologies to anyone who has heard it all before. I am 3 years post treatment. I found the hard plastic dilators really painful and made me bleed, so I bought a set of silicone ones. They are much gentler to use but I carried on bleeding whenever I put one in; I couldn't get it in very far so had a bit of a break to see if I would heal a little. 

To cut a long story short, I am no further forward. The smallest dilator goes in a bit with a wiggle and a shove, but it still makes me bleed. Trying to actually have sex was no good, so we have sadly now given up. I know there are 'other things' we can do but it's all become a bit embarrassing, and not at all loving or sexy.

My advice would be 'don't give up', especially if it is important to you. I think having that break of a few weeks to try and let myself heal actually caused the scar tissue forming in my vagina to get worse.

Hi Mrs Vanilla, when I had problems vaginally they sent me to the hospital gynaecologist who gave me a smear and also checked me internally. He said my skin was remarkably in good spec but I do have scar tissue just at entry that has formed in a tight tender knot and quite tight muscles (all that pelvic floor training) which is my problem. I’m going to try vitamin e massage to see if I can break it down. I don’t think we should get signed off as a lost case and hopefully they will send you to the appropriate department for further investigation. I also purchased the silicone dilators after reading of the American anal cancer site that these were more appropriate for anal cancer treatment but the difference between those hard little pink blighters and the silicone is they do stretch the internal skin over time and the silicone ones are far more gentle and don’t. I would have a lovely warm bath to relax everything down there and just take my time with plenty of yes oil based lubricant for the dilators. Relaxing is the key as it’s quite stressful when our brain expects pain and we tighten up. But I do think you should at least get checked out internally to see if everything is okay. 

Julie

Thanks Julie, 

Thanks for pointing me towards this, I might have another try now and will def talk to GP as I thought it was hopeless.

I did try to have a smear about a year after treatment, but although between us we managed to get the speculum inside, the nurse could not get it to open and it became a bit of a bloodbath as you can imagine - she told me there is a good blood supply down there so it does bleed easily.

My GP then rang my onc who advised that smears were pointless in someone who had had pelvic radiotherapy as the results are inaccurate. So no more smears for me anyway.

Good luck with  your efforts, too.