Mum nearly finished 6 cycles of chemo - we’re all ok!

Hey Hopeful Gabby

Sorry that you have been having some low days. I think we all do. Mum is doing ok though now in week 5 of 6 of daily radiotherapy (with chemo tablets) and it’s getting more painful so she’ll be glad when it’s done! She is a trooper though.

Someone recently reminded me that mindset counts for so much when facing tough things. We might not be able to heal ourselves with our mind (some would say we can) but we can definitely visualise wellness and strength and grasping every opportunity. I am trying to do this where possible and try bit to expect the worst. 

Hello HopefulOne

I found the chemo/radiotherapy by far the worst part of the extended treatment that I had, and I am so pleased to hear your Mum is coming to the end of her treatment.  The pain does peak a couple of weeks after treatment ends but at least she will be at home where she can rest and recuperate without the daily hospital visits - and begin to look forward to Christmas!

So be prepared that she mightn't be up to much for the next few weeks but the sores will heal and the pain will dissipate.  And yes, grasp every opportunity - a mantra we would all do well to live by.

Irene xx

Hi HopefulOne ,

It’s really good to hear that your mum is nearing the end of her treatment & yes it does get uncomfortable/painful with the extent of the skin reaction to the radiotherapy but you’re so right with the comments you make on mindset. As Irene has said the reaction to the treatment still builds for a couple of weeks after that last session but then hopefully your mum will find the healing process a speedy one & you’ll be able to enjoy a wonderful Christmas together. 

Nicola 

Aww thank you for responding, really good to hear that your mum is doing well and soldiering through with the radiotherapy. 100% agree I try to thank God everyday for every day I get with my mum. Sending lots of love to everyone  x

Hi I am new here and mom starts chemo tomorrow. Only chemo no radiation. Stage 4 anal cancer with inguinal node involved and 2 nodes on lung. Did you just have chemo treatment first then lung ablation after? Any answers appreciated as she's not feeling hopeful or optimistic at all. Thank you

Fantastic news! x

Hello

I am really sorry to hear about your Mum and can totally understand how she is feeling right now - getting a Stage 4 cancer diagnosis is devastating and I am pleased that she has your support. 

Sometimes, if there is spread (and your Mum's case sounds similar to mine), the first line of treatment is six cycles of Carboplatin/Paclitaxol over a six-month period, three weekly chemo sessions and two weeks off.  This is to shrink the tumours and kill off cancer in the blood stream.  They may scan your Mum at three months to see how the chemo is working, and then again at six months.  I had a two month break to recover and then went on to have the standard Nigro Protocol, combined chemo/radiotherapy.  Then a week after that finished I had the first lung ablation followed a week later by the second.

If everything goes according to plan, the initial chemo can be really successful in shrinking the cancer and metastasis and further treatment given later.  But as with any cancer treatment there can be 'ifs' and 'buts' that make the whole process such a rollercoaster and my heart goes out to her (and you).  But these treatments are proven to work in many cases and underline the expression 'living with cancer' as many people do.

If there is anything at all I can help you with, please ask - it can help to have the knowledge of another's similar experience.

Big hug to a supportive daughter

Irene xx

Thank you so much you just made me cry but in a good way. Wish i had found you ladies sooner. There are times when I fell helpless and hopeless but refuse to let her see that. I have to be her ray of sunshine in all thos. She's my best friend and always been so strong and to see her act like she's going to die tomorrow makes me angry. Not at her at the situation. She's been everyone's rock for so long and now I feel everyone should be a rock for her. I think the hardest for me is the medical staff look at her like she's just an 80yr old woman but don't understand that she has no other medical issues besides this and is very active and full of life. Well I'm letting them know we're not going down without a fight lol. Today is day 1 of chemo so we're headed to our plan of attack. I'm working today so back to work I go. But thank you for your support and have a lovely day

A pleasure to support. Totally get it.

Also really understand the feeling that they are treated as old people- I have made sure to go to key appts when I can (not always possible of course) to advocate…at least that way you know you are showing them that your mum is a fighter/ worth fighting for!! 

Hope today went well for her xx

Supportive daughter

A common thought here on the forum (regardless of what stage the diagnosis was) is that we were going to die.  I even went through my wardrobe thinking I won't need this anymore, there is no point in buying that.  The despair was absolutely overwhelming.  I even counted out the months I had left.  But the feeling of hope is a very strong one and although it mightn't seem like it right now, once treatment starts, that feeling is nurtured and one starts to take joy again in the simple things in life.  I remember saying to my husband (in amazement) I feel happy today.  If you had told me that at the beginning I wouldn't have believed you.  It is still a rollercoaster around the regular checks and scans but we now plan ahead because I no longer think I am not going to be around.

And you may well find that you don't have to be brave all the time with your Mum - I always relate the time early in my treatment when I was with my daughters and wept, and both of them broke down, we stood in a group and hugged and cried together, and then sat down and drank some wine.  The relief was enormous for all of us, and everything was out in the open.

It is wonderful that she has you to advocate for her and please don't lose that fighting spirit!

Irene xx