My sister came to stay with me for two weeks while I was going through radiation last January (2020). She pushed me in a wheelchair to my appointments and helped clean me up when I crapped in the bed. She told me recently she thought I had been faking how bad I felt. What??????? Goodness, thought I was dying I felt so bad! Just venting. That's all. Kind of hurt my feelings though. Who would fake feeling that bad???
Hi there Teletubby,
That must have been so very hurtful to get that response from your sister… My parents came to stay with me for a week or so following my initial surgery (I live 200 miles from all of my immediate family) & they saw the pain I was in following that including a late night dash to A&E 5 days post surgery because my stitches had burst & I was bleeding pretty heavily, my dad, 82 at the time, came & stayed again during my treatment & accompanied me every day to my appointment & walked my dog when the fatigue became too much, my mum also cares for her twin sister so it was decided she would stay home this time but I suppose the point I’m trying to make is for months after they kept saying to me be careful not to overdo things etc., because they’d seen first hand the impact it all had had on me & believe me I wasn’t half as bad as you by the sounds of it! I walked myself into appointments each day, I didn’t need assistance, I was able to do most things at home even if it meant resting in between jobs but I can only imagine the sinking feeling you must have had when your sister said this.
I realise it must be difficult to understand if you’ve not been through what we have the impact it has on you both physically & mentally & I don’t think people that haven’t been through it ‘get’ the impact this treatment, or cancer treatment in general has on your body, long or short term, if you get up, get dressed, put your face on etc., each day I think people assume you’re all good! I always put my make up on, made sure I was dressed well, hair tidy etc., right up until my last radiotherapy appointment, I baked cupcakes & took them in for the lovely radiotherapy girls that had laughed with me & cared for me throughout but believe me by that last session I was feeling pretty ropey! I shut myself away for the next 2 weeks & saw only one close friend in that time as I felt so rough, when I wasn’t soaking in a salt bath I was in bed! So nobody saw me in that state. I have friends that as soon as I was up & about again have never since asked how I’m doing as they think all’s good now, yes thus far I’m NED but they haven’t a clue that I have long-term damage from the treatment that affects me every day!
Apologies but this post set me on a bit of a rant I didn’t even realise was there lol … I do feel your hurt though, as you’ve said I can’t understand why anyone would fake anything like that. Just try & take a deep breathe & move past this comment, all of us here know totally what you’ve been through.
Nicola
