So had my 3 monthly check up yesterday (18 months ish post treatment) and all is well! Blimey though those check ups don't get any easier do they! I was a right wreck yesterday morning and had to dig deep to keep calm whilst in the waiting room.
I came away feeling really reassured though that the occasional bleeding, itching, pain, runny bum, constipation and really really smelly wind 
is all part of the new normal - and all of which I can cope with to know that it's all fine, so hopefully I can start coping a bit better when these things do occur.
I had a really good chat with the nurse too about the vaginal dilators (still havent managed sex) and she's set me on a bit of a plan to go back to the drawing board and start using them properly again. I know it sounds daft but I feel quite scared of my bits down there as everything seems to have changed. I know it's a mindset thing and hopefully will change with time
Anyway all is well and I can relax for a bit and wanted to say as always thank you to everyone who continues to support me when the anxiety takes over!!
Deb x
Hi Debh1,
That’s great that your check-up went well and that you came away with the reassurance that you needed. Unfortunately this ongoing anxiety is an unwelcome side effect of having any major health scare I think. I’m a little over 2.5 years post treatment & my oncologist has told me as I was diagnosed so early, had surgery followed by chemoradiotherapy as ‘mop-up’ treatment & now passing the 2 year mark that a culmination of all of these factors mean my chances of any recurrence are minimal he said my chances of being ‘cured’ & staying well are in the high 90%’s but if I have a bout of what you’re describing in your post e.g., soreness, itching, bleeding when having a BM (I’ve experienced all of these over the last week) that anxiety definitely gets the upper hand again! In hindsight, now things are settling down again I can rationalise it, I’ve had 10 days off work (my first proper time off since the pandemic began) & in the first couple of days I set to & got some pretty heavy jobs done in the house & possibly over did things & payed for it with this flare-up!
Reading other people’s experiences with the dilators consistency is key, I know exactly what you mean though about being afraid because things have altered, it’s something that’s not spoken about much but really should be. I’ve also heard of a couple of ladies that have been referred over to gynaecology if issues are ongoing.
Nicola
