So scared

Hi Debh1

I feel for you hun, ‘scanxiety’ is real, especially the first one post treatment. The waiting and not knowing is hard to cope with and you’ll have bad days and better days. You need to keep yourself busy. Get yourself outside as much as possible, xmas shopping/wrapping, cinema, do some nice things just for you. When the dark thoughts come, literally tell them to go away, say it out loud, I do and keep telling yourself that your scans WILL be clear.

The sight of blood is always alarming, let alone in the period when you’re waiting for scan results. However, bleeding is common and isn’t necessarily a bad sign. I’m nearly 17 months out and still have bleeds sometimes. The radiation causes lots of inflammation and scarring, our skin never really returns to normal due to the damage. Its very delicate and vulnerable to tears and fissures that you can’t see as they’re internal. 

Try to take some comfort right now in being oblivious.

Sending positive thoughts to the universe and back for you.

Sarah x

Hi Deb, it’s just the worst isn’t it waiting for results. As you know my results were clear and I had bleeding about 3 weeks before my scans so it just goes to show you can have bleeding and it doesn’t mean it’s necessarily due to the Big C. I just tried to keep so busy post scans. I began to suffer from difficulty falling asleep and even though my news was good I’m still having sleep problems to date. I’m keeping everything crossed for you with your results. X

Hi Deb

I know it’s very difficult to not be terrified at the sight of blood given everything you have been through. I had exactly the same and phoned my Macmillan nurse for advice. She wasn’t alarmed at all and said it was to be expected. She said I had lots of internal changes and nerve ending trying to repair themselves and this is normal and not to worry. 
She immediately put my mind at rest and now I have had a couple of occasions and I don’t worry anymore. 
If it would help you maybe give your nurse and ring for peace of mind!

Take Care and good luck with your results.

C x x

Hi Debh1,

Aww it’s awful when you get frightened & things will be heightened with you waiting on your scan results but rest assured as everyone else has said it’s all part of the healing process & although quite frightening when it’s happening to you it really isn’t unusual. I’m 17 months post treatment like Sarah, NED & still have bleeding every once in a while, I mention it at each appointment & neither my surgeon or oncologist are phased by it at all. 

Nicola 

Not right, but my wrong!  Posted a reply to you before.  It is normal to have some bleeding now and again.  The medical term is ,"telangiectasia".  Look it up. Bright red blood is from the surface,  not dark from internal bleeding.  Please believe me when I tell you not to worry, cos I still have the same thing now and again, but I don't worry any more having been reassured that it is normal from new fragile skin.  I was diagnosed  stage 3 in December 2013 and happy to say that I am still here and feeling better than ever before (and 1 1/2 stones lighter!). Please stop worrying and accept the best when you are told that you are NED and be happy to get on with life!  Worrying achieves nothing.  Accepting when you are told you are clear now until your next check up in 3 months will help you to the next one, and then the next one and eventually you will be where I am today - 6 years on.  You have to believe in yourself because it might not cure you, but it will help you to be looking forward to a positive result at the end of your journey.  My young sister was diagnosed with womb cancer in 2011, decided that she wasn't "going to pop her clogs"! She is still around today.  I truly believe in mind over matter.  It might not triumph  in the end, but it helps you to put up a fight on your journey and make your voice heard so that everyone knows how you feel.

Sure you are much younger than me and therefore you have a  much longer future. If I can hope for the future at 73 you have your whole life before you.  Deep breath, look forward to tomorrow and the future.   This was just a hiccup that you didn't anticipate.  None of us did, but when it happened it made us think - I'll get through this and we will. Mxx