Feeling concerned

Yes, the waiting is horrible.

all that treatment hasn’t been for nothing, even if there is something there it will be smaller than it was, and your lymph nodes should be clear too.

When I found myself fixated on the worst possible outcome I eased the stress by having a list of safe things to think about. Like the tomato plants in the greenhouse. I’d think in great detail about staking and watering and nipping out the side shoots. Once I got my brain onto something useful it would give me a break from freaking out for a little while.

all the best,

Trish xx

Hi

Just read your post and I’m not surprised you feeling concerned. I really feel for hun as the last thing any of us what to hear is the possibility of the chemo-radiation not working.

However, remembering back to conversations I had with my oncologist and my peer, I hope I can offer some words of re-assurance.

At my 6 week post-treatment check-up I remember trying to get some indication from my oncologist of what to expect from my scans. I remember vividly my oncologist saying "if there’s something still there don’t panic”. He went on the explain that the radiotherapy creates a lot of scar tissue and it can be hard to tell the difference between tumor and scar tissue. He told me that if this were to happen, they’d do a biopsy then leave me for longer as the radiotherapy continues to work for up to 12 months. My oncologist also told me that AC tumors are usually slow growing so can therefore be quite stubborn, but that the radiation melts them away eventually.

Something very similar happened to the person who was my peer support. She didn’t have symptoms but at her post-treatment scan a mass still showed. She then had to go through a very worrying time, as they did a biospy then left her for a further 6 months. Fortunately by then the tumor had completely gone. She is now cured and I think a 8 year survivor. 

I appreciate that you will be very worried and probably thinking about worse case scenarios as that’s where our brains always take us. However, nothing is certain, its all what ifs at the moment so try to cling onto that until you get some firm answers/explanations.

This cancer malarkey never seems to be simple unfortunately, lots of little bumps in the road to get over. Its a total emotional roller-coaster. Even when you’re in remission the anxiety doesn’t stop. 

Carry on with your life as normal. Things like your job will help to maintain some normality, structure and distraction from the other crap thats going on. Keep looking forward, going through the motions and staying as positive as you can.

Keep us posted.

Sarah x

Thank you Sarah x