Surgery done now surveillance

Hi Rocky1 well done in getting through your surgery. I think your feelings are quite normal. I had the chemoradiation, but when I got the all clear I didn't feel anything and the what ifs are always in the back of my mind specially when it's my 3 monthly scan. You could ask about therapy at the hospital or some of the charity's offer it. I'm having some. Sending hugs. Xx

Thanks for the reply. I guess I was just hoping someone on here would say , that was my pathway and I’m ok it didn’t come back…but then I’m guessing maybe these people a few years after are not on here anymore. Thank you again for saying this feeling is normal. 

Hello Rocky1 

This fear that it may come back is one that we all have, even though we have had the all clear.  So I empathise as that feeling never really completely goes.  I had lots of treatment so not the same pathway at all, so I can't share anything there.

However, the fact that you are being kept under surveillance can only be a good thing; it does seem like a double-edged sword in that we get really nervous at check-ups and heady with relief when we get the all-clear.  But it means they will move fast if anything is found - not that I think there will be, your consultant sounds quite confident.

So I am delighted to hear your news and hope you can go on enjoying your life without too much stress.

Wishing you lots of luck in your ongoing surveillance

Big hug

Irene xxx

Oh definitely I think the majority of people don't bother coming on here once they have the all clear. People have to do what's right for then. I know I flit between staying away and coming on. X

Hi Rocky1 ,

I can understand your feelings completely but if it’s of any comfort I think we all have the fear of recurrence even after treatment. Even though I knew my chances of anything growing back were incredibly low I still felt this way.

I too had a local resection as first line treatment for my diagnosis of anal cancer & it’s a rough trot isn’t it? I was stitched after my surgery & 5 days later my stitches burst & I ended up in A&E with quite a lot of bleeding which showed no sign of stopping.

The results of my surgery were that on the majority of my 2cm tumour there was a 4mm clearance but a tiny portion only had a 1mm clear margin due to it being very close to my sphincter muscle & there was a risk of leaving me with a level of incontinence if my surgeon went any further. 1mm is the cut off point for further treatment therefore I was referred to oncology where I was offered into a clinical trial for a course of chemoradiotherapy. I’m now 8 years post treatment. 

I’m really pleased to hear your news but as Irene has said I think it can feel like a double edged sword can’t it? 

I'm sorry I couldn’t offer more reassurance. 

Nicola