My Mum has Anal squamous cell carcinoma

Hi Joebloggs Welcome to the forum although I am sorry about your mums diagnosis. I would say the most important thing from my perspective is to listen and accept how she feels even if you think her thoughts are silly. When your mum starts treatment she may get tired or have some pain ( she may not we all react differently) so practical help is good ie cooking, housework etc. You could also find some good tv for her to binge or books. Sending hugs.  Xx

Hello Joebloggs 

I am so sorry to hear about your Mum's diagnosis.  She (and you) are in the horrible period when shock, denial, disbelief and fear are all too common just after being told.  We all remember it only too well and I am so glad that you are there on hand to help and support her.

Your Mum may well try and protect you from how she is really feeling.  She never stops being your mother and she may well not discuss just how scared she is.  I often tell the story of an evening early in my diagnosis when I was with my two daughters, we were all putting our brave faces on, and I realised that they were as terrified as me.  We all had a weep, a group hug and drank rather a lot of wine and the relief was palpable; everything was out in the open and there was no need to hide anything.  It was wonderful for me to be able to share everything with them without any judgement or false positivity coming my way, and they did with me too.

When she sees the oncologist on Thursday, please come back and let us know her treatment plan.  She may have a course of chemo first, probably paclitaxol/carboplatin, this is to shrink everything and prevent further spread.  If this is the case, I can give some hints on this as this was the regimen I was on.

There is an additional forum on this site,  Carers only forum which also offers help and support to carers as it is well known that carers can be really affected by the diagnosis and treatment of a loved one too.

I hope that your Mum has a positive meeting on Thursday, I will be thinking of you both.

Big hug

Irene xx 

Hi Joebloggs ,

Apologies for the late reply but I just wanted to offer another warm welcome although I’m so sorry to learn of your mum’s recent diagnosis. 

You’ve had some great advice from both Bungle & Irene already & id echo all that’s been said. As Irene has said once you’ve seen your mum’s oncologist on Thursday you’ll have a better idea of the course of treatment she’ll be embarking on, most of us here have been through chemoradiotherapy with some having systemic chemo first particularly where there’s metastatic disease present too. 

I hope the appointment goes as well as can be expected on Thursday & please look after yourself too, I see Irene has signposted the carers only forum but we also have the Family and friends forum  where you can get some added support too. 

we’re here to support you however we can.

Nicola