Burns and pink friends

Bungle1

Hands up, I used them a couple of times and then life got in the way and I stopped.  My big problem was the fragility of the skin in the area, the first time we attempted intercourse (about nine months after treatment ended) it was extremely painful and the second time the same thing happened.  But this time I skuttled off to the bathroom with a mirror and the skin in my perineum has split, hence the pain, so we never reached penetration.

But, perceived wisdom is that the sooner you use them the better.  In fact in the States (I think) they sometimes have dilators in place during radiotherapy.  But I don't think you will cause damage if you are very gentle with lots of lubricating gel.

Best of luck!

Irene xx

Hi all!

im about to start week 5 and after having a relatively easy time of it I am really feeling the full brunt of the treatment now. I’m also feeling emotionally wrecked, I don’t know where that came from. I’ve been counting the days until the end of the treatment and being fairly upbeat- but from this weekend ,I’m not. Keep trying to count my blessings but it’s just not working. The team gave me Co- codamol on Friday but didn’t give any relief and made me feel spaced out , so I’ve stopped taking them. Actually I think the problem is that I’m not experiencing pain, it’s more like intense discomfort. I continue to use Flamigel and will speak to them about something Bungle recommended when I see the doctor tomorrow. I think I’m struck at the moment about what I’m losing. Apart from pubic hair loss I feel that I will lose spontaneity in my sex life amongst other things. I was a very active vibrant sort of person before all this, but now I feel depleted and it’s all changed so suddenly. I’m worried about my daughter who is going through a cancer investigation herself and think this has added to my negative feelings. I’m sorry to bring such gloom to the table but I can’t share this with anyone else. I know I should be grateful for this life saving treatment, but at the moment I’m just feeling sorry for myself.

Happyflower x

Hi Happyflower 

You are so close to the end and allowed to feel sorry for yourself, getting a cancer diagnosis and then having treatment is a complete head f**k in my opinion and like you say you have the added worry of your daughter. Cry scream shout do whatever you need to keep going. Easier said than done I know but try not to think about what you feel you have lost, you will get it back. With regards to your sex life try and remember that only a tiny amount of people post on these forums and I'm sure there are plenty of people who go back to normal once they have recovered. Although I'm not very patient with regards to the healing process myself I've come a long way and it's not even been 2 weeks yet and I have to keep reminding myself of that. Sending you love and huge hugs. Xxx

Thank you. Yes I will try to remember. You are right . Thanks for your support xxx

Hello Happyflower

You have such a lot on your plate just now with your own problems and worrying about your daughter which must be all encompassing.  And don't ever worry about being gloomy on here, this is a safe place where you can share your feelings without apology.  The treatment on its own without everything else can be enough to cope with.

And Bungle is absolutely right, lots of people have the treatment and then get on with their life; you might have a new normal, I have but I enjoy every single day - looking back it is all like a bad dream.  And you will get there too.

Big hug

Irene xx

Hey - I was advised to not use until healed - this took a while as had added things going on.  My consultant said they must be mad trying too soon! I am 15 weeks post treatment now and haven't started as was too sore just in one place.   You can use or not use, if you feel you want to then try but please don't put pressure on yourself as it can be sore - read the others stories and make your own mind up (sadly my husband and I are not active in that area after his health things so not urgent for me)  also a long term friend is 5 years clear (had anal cancer too) she didnt even know they existed and is fine.  So its your choice just be careful and avoid hurting yourself is my advice, its bad enough getting past the treatment, give yourself what you need xxx 

Shared with love x Angie x

Hi Angie

Do you mean your friend never used dilators and is fine ? X

Thanks again Bungle- I’ve got some instillagel from the hospital today . It is a relief! 
hugs from 

Happyflower xx

Hi , 

my oncologist was adamant I started to use the dilators from week 2 post treatment ..I got to to the biggest one by week 9 and use them every other day … no problem but sex is causing discomfort !!! I think some doctors feel if you don’t use them , an internal examination may prove difficult .. 

Hope things improve soon ?

Chrissie xx

Yay so pleased you've got some relief. X