Had biopsies also found..

Hi GreenNanny ,

I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with all this right now! As you probably already know my tumour was surgically removed so I completely understand the discomfort you’re in following your biopsies. I also have a friend that has just recently been diagnosed with diverticulitis & it can be a bit of a minefield finding what causes you flares so I’m pleased to hear you e been referred for help & advice.

The stress & anxiety of the whole situation will have completely exhausted you emotionally, that along with the surgical procedure you’ve had done is possibly the reason why you’re sleeping so much but I would mention it to your Dr just to make them aware of the way you’re feeling. You really do need to make them aware of the vaginal discomfort you’re experiencing too.

Please don’t feel the need to apologise for unloading here & airing your worries, that is what we’re here for, we’re here to offer support to each other when we need it. I just wish I could make the time pass quicker for you so that you had your results, the waiting game really is the worst. I also completely understand the way you’re trying to be stoic for your family because that is the way that I operate too. Throughout the whole process of a cancer diagnosis nobody tells you about the guilt you carry for your loved ones, I felt exactly the same when I had to break the news to my daughter, parents etc.

Know we’re here for you, we understand & this is a safe place for you to be unapologetically honest about how you’re feeling. 

Nicola 

Hi Nicola thank you so much for your kinds words I really didn’t think anyone would reply once I read it back gosh theres a lot and I did go on  I’ll take your advice on board. To be fair for some reason it doesn’t feel as bad the waiting I’m not sure why I just really hoping I get to celebrate this Christmas probably with my family we have a lot booked in to make up for missing last Christmas as I was having treatment then and the only thing that kept me going was planning this year!!!! I think I could benefit from some counseling it’s was arranged but I was unwell had to cancel at the last minute and the woman to say she wasn’t happy is an understatement so it but me off rearranging it with her didn’t feel I could open up after she was very clearly unhappy I cancelled. Wish there was a Maggie’s near me. Thank you again for your time take care xx 

Oh Nanny, you are really being put through the wringer! 

I think if your body wants sleep after all it's been through and is going through, you shouldn't fight it. I'm STILL far slower and sleepier than I was before all of this, and I'm lucky that my life is such right now that most days I can just go slow or take a nap if I need to. 

Not being able to use dressings must make everything so much harder.

This is the place to come to unload, especially if you feel you need to hold back around worried family, which I totally get. 

I haven't had personal experience with a lot of what you're enduring, but I'm holding you in my heart. Envisioning that this is just a blip, a minor setback in a long lifetime of being cancer-free and free of all the rest too.

Hugs

Suz

Hello GreenNanny, I read your post and wasn’t sure how to answer in a way that would be helpful and I suppose just to acknowledge you have read it is positive even if you don’t know what to say. I read it and just knew that Nicola would give you some great support and others too. I also had a biopsy before my treatment and actually the first one was to remove some polyps to investigate and they found an area which they wasn’t happy about and after the recovery of three weeks from the first (which wasn’t at all too bad) the second one was a sessile polyp embedded within the wall of the anus and they tried to get it out with clear margins but unfortunately it showed cancer in the margins. That surgery was a more uncomfortable recovery so I can fully empathise with you and I too remember feeling very fatigued but I was suffering from fatigue before my cancer was discovered as I was losing weight and appetite and sleeping every afternoon which was unlike me. It does sound like you have very reactive skin which doesn’t help does it. I am glad you have a good team by your side and a good nurse is a godsend when you need support. My specialist Macmillan nurse was my rock and the first time we met she said Julie, I am going to be with you all the way and help make this journey as easy as I can. They are great for advice on medication and family can be great for love and support and we can be great for sounding off frustrations, sharing experiences, tips on how we made things easier which are passed down from those who were members on here long ago sometimes and understanding just how you feel. 

Oh GreenNanny

I really feel for you, you are having such a rough time at the moment.  No wonder you are scared, and of course it can be such a strain, putting on a brave face for the family. Partners and families really do go through it too when a love one has treatment for cancer and there is very little that can be done to avoid that but it doesn't stop us feeling guilty, I know.  The next two weeks will drag, I am sure, but the team treating you seem to be very proactive and taking good care of you.  Please tell the oncologist about any discomfort you have in your vagina so they can check you out properly.  That may well be down to treatment as well, but it is best to keep them up-to-date.  I am so pleased that the staff have been caring, it makes such a difference.

I regularly sleep 9 - 10 hours a night, that was never the norm for me and I am 20 months out of treatment.  I think a lot of people struggle to get back to their level of fitness that they enjoyed before, and what I find helpful is if I have a late occasion looming I take a nap, (a long one!) during the day to prepare me so that I don't miss out.

Please let us know how you get on and remember that we are all here should you need support and virtual hugs.

Irene xx